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Dragged Out, anyone else?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Science, Sep 3, 2015.

  1. Science

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    New Brunswick
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I was about thirteen and just barely starting to figure myself out when I came out to my mom. Of course “came out” really isn’t the right wording. The whole experience was more like having a swat team burst into a closet I didn’t know I was in and drag me out. Not pleasant.
    It happened when she picked me up from Pathfinders and we were driving back home. She turned off the radio and asked me, “So who do you like?” Innocent enough only she wasn’t looking for names, she wanted to know genders. Really she had her mind made up about me before she even got in the car. I, on the other hand, had no clue what the hell she was talking about. Neither boys nor girls had really appealed to me at that point. I hadn’t had crushes, and I didn’t gossip with my friends about the cute kids. I, for all intents and purposes, had no conscious sexuality.
    My mother didn’t buy that for one second. She became convinced that I was worried about how people would react or something else like that. Really it didn’t matter what I said unless I was confirming her preconceived notions about my sexuality. She said I had to know, that I was old enough now to know what I liked and that I should just tell her. Let me tell you did that worry me.
    I mean hell it terrified me because I honestly didn’t know. I had no idea but here was my own mother telling me that wasn’t normal, that I, essentially, wasn’t normal. I can’t even explain how much that scared me, mostly because I was already feeling that way about myself at school. I felt like I was different, a freak. This really didn’t help with that.
    So my mom kept pressuring me and eventually just to make her stop I told her I was bisexual. She didn’t believe me, said she thought that I just wasn’t ready to come out yet and that she’d never heard of bisexuality before. The conversation died after that and I turned the radio back on.
    The kicker to this is that I hadn’t heard of bisexuality before a few weeks earlier. Until that point I’d thought there was only straight and gay but suddenly there were more options and so many possibilities. Yet I still felt broken because I still didn’t feel the attraction that my mom had described.
    Four years later now and I’m still not really sure so I’ve stuck with bi. The title doesn’t chaff as much anymore. My mom eventually accepted it, after our relationship went through a few rough years of course, but in my family it’s not really something you talk about. They figure we don’t bring up my sister’s heterosexuality why should we bring up my bisexuality. I’m not allowed to tell my younger siblings either and my mother has warned me about telling my father’s parents if I want to preserve my relationship with them.
    It’s weird you know? I never really felt like I was in the closet before my mom dragged me out of it, but now it feels like I’m suffocating in it.
    Anyone else dragged out instead of came out?
     
  2. Acuba403

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    I was dragged out too, It happened a couple days ago. Me and my mom were some what close before this, but we hit a bit of a rough spot and were fighting a lot and it was affecting the my little sister. So my mom forced me to sit down and talk to her, after about 45 minutes of her ranting about how I was screwing up she asks if I wanted to say anything I said no(if I say anything I usually get in more crap) and she didn't believe me because i was still pissed(and stressing about college) from the fight we had just before. After another good 30 minutes of me saying I'm fine the pressure finally got to me and i told her I'm transgender. she then gave me the whole "I'll support you no matter what" speech. after that we didn't talk for about 2 days, she asks me if I've talk to a professional? i told her no but i have been talking to people (EC) apparently she wanted me to talk to a professional to make sure that i didn't self diagnose improperly, and she could help me find a "cure". when she said she'd "help me" she meant send me to a conversion camp.
    So I had a bug out bag ready within the hour i heard that encase i need to run.
     
  3. xxCHAOTIC

    Regular Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    When I first joined it literally said more outed than out. My friends knew for years before I did and we were all sick of the bitter arguments I got into with them over denying it.

    Then they eventually both came out and pressed at me again and I didn't come out so much as just go FINE. YOU'RE RIGHT. HAPPY? I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT. I was so offended because they popped right out of the closet and everything was fine and dandy and they loved themselves and who they were and found it such a relief. I felt resentful and laid bare. Like if they had kept their noses in their own business I could have kept on successfully lying to myself and no one would have been any the wiser. I was also angry that they had presented as straight for so long, throughout questioning me, when they were questioning themselves.

    I've forgiven them now of course, they had good intentions and they know me. I would have been content staying quiet and miserable with a man I didn't love and never could until the damn grave had they not pressed me.


    That's actually why I joined this site. To kinda... Catch up. I'm outed. I need to start acting like it.
     
  4. Otaku2014

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    I was draged out when my journal was found. my family was cool enough with it though and im glad it happened.