Sorry this isn't a story/ experience of my own, but I feel like I'll get the best responses by posting this here. When you came out to people, what did they say specifically? What was the nicest reaction you got, and what was the worst? I'm not trying to rip of any scabs, nor reassure myself about anything--I'm just curious. Thanks?
The nicest reaction I got was "Cool, I'm Pan myself". That was from my friend; she appreciated me enough that she came out to me at the same time I came out to her. The meanest reaction I got was either from my parents or my friend's friend. My mom was originally quite hostile, although she warmed up a bit after she calmed down. The mutual friend that I told was kinda nice about it, but didn't believe me and barely talked to me after the fact.
In my experience, those who "get it" usually say something like "Since when?" or generally (at least act) inquisitive. The best reaction I got was a really in-depth follow-up conversation. The worst was disbelief.
The nicest reaction was when I was really scared to come to my friend and when I did, he told me that I shouldn't have been sp scared because it doesn't matter in his eyes. Also that was the first time he told me he loves me(as a friend, bummer, but a big deal anyway so yay!). I couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the day
The nicest reaction was, collectively, that of my close friends (when I came out as bi/pan) back when I was at school. They didn't so much as question it, and swiftly devised a colour-coded...code, I suppose, for orientations. Because we were weird teenagers and got too much joy from having our own special way to talk about things, you know? It was really kind of sweet, though, because it wasn't code for 'straight' or 'gay', just 'likes girls' or 'likes guys' or 'likes any gender' - all of us were on equal footing in the eyes of our codewords. The worst reactions I've had, both in reference to my orientation and my gender, were from my father. I came out to him as genderqueer first, and his reaction was more or less to tell me that I shouldn't be out about that 'for my own good', essentially. I'd find it a lot more forgiveable if that was genuinely his motive, but it was evident that it was actually his own discomfort he wanted to spare by having me be quiet about it. As for coming out as gay, he took that better but swiftly demanded to know if I was going out with my best friend (who, admittedly, I was). He made it pretty clear he wanted to talk to her parents if we were, and to save everyone the embarrassment of that conversation (and to ensure he'd let us stay in the same room) I vehemently denied it. He doesn't know about us to this day, 5 years later! He's sure in for a surprise if we get married, I suppose...
"He's sure in for a surprise if we get married, I suppose..." Hahaha amazing! ^_^ My best reactions were coming out to my closer friends, who adopted pronouns and name immediately with only a few hiccups. Worst was my mother who cried, shouted, blamed me, blamed herself, forbade me from changing my habits, body, or clothes, told me to see a psychologist to "fix it", refused to believe it, said it was a phase, said it wasn't a real thing, said I was and never will be a girl, and proceeded to eject me from her house (I wasn't living there thank heavens). Most interesting was my old boss at a work reunion; she hugged me and told me my makeup was on point. Guess it goes to show that reactions can really differ!
My best reaction could be many. The most heart warming one was from a friend who is 78 years old. He said "JI'm my your a great guy, your deserve a,great guy". Can't say it was my worst was from my mentor growing up who said "that's fine with me, why are you telling me this ".
Best reaction hmm guessing it was friends thinking it was cool and they weren't going to treat me any different (jokingly saying they would still shower with me but if I looked to long I'd have to pay a fee lol ) Um worst would be my mother having a hard time with it becoming distant, depressed wondering what she did wrong then her way of coming to terms was to say it was just a phase..to this date we have a good relationship but its more like if we don't talk about it, its not their and really I'm gay I know I am theirs nothing for me to talk about with her about being gay but she tells me oil about who's gay in the area so that's her way lol
I'm not out to many but definetely a few people, at least. All positive reactions, except for one negative. Mostly came out with my girlfriend. The most common reaction- "I knew you two were dating" The cutest? My best friend (male)- "Aww that's so cute!!" And we proceed to talk about finding girls attractive together. The funniest- two girls in my class, one was a lesbian...they were making bets on who was the gay one, me or my girlfriend. When we came out, neither of them won because we are together. The bad reaction- I thought I was bi at the time and this guy said all these mean things to me at summer camp, and always found me alone in the piano room and made fun of me And, when I first came out to my girlfriend as lesbian- well, she seemed to know already, so, she just said "that's so gayyy" and that was it.
It's been virtually 100% support every time I've come out. The most frequent response is "That's great dude, I'm glad you've find yourself. We're still friends / I still love you." One friend was initially somewhat homophobic and said it changed the friendship. After a few weeks he came around and apologized - mostly because he was in shock and didn't know what to say. After a few of his friends "straightened him out" after he told them how reacted, I think he finally "got it." One funny reaction was when I met a friend at her work (who knew I was gay) and introduced me as her "gay friend Brandon." The girl looked at me for a second and then said "So.. uhh.. are you like... the girl?" *facepalm*
When I come out as gay to people, they usually act surprised and tell me that "You don't act gay." The best reaction was my best friend whose reaction was, "Oh cool, whatever." Worst reaction was my dad, who almost threw me out of the house and acted extremely distant towards me for awhile.
Most commonly from my family I get "You don't act gay" or "How do you know?" Once or twice I've been asked "Who will play the girl?" :bang: The best one I got was last summer when I came out to one of my closest friends 'A' who I have known for 10 years now. I had this long speech beforehand about how much our friendship means to me and how I always felt I might be gay since I was 7 and knew for sure since I was 12 even though I had a girlfriend for 4 years from 16-20 which he knew about and why I knew I was gay and then how this doesn't change who I am and I hope it does not change how he feels about me or negatively effect our friendship (by that point I was basically crying). He simply waited for me to finish and said: "I don't look at you any differently and it does not change our friendship." Through tears I said: "You don't know how happy I am to hear you say that" and he said "come here" and he hugged me and held me while I cried in his arms from the relief. He then told me I was like family to him and nothing could ever change that, and then he talked with me about guys and crushes and stuff, just as I talk to him about girls. When we talk he tells me he loves me and asks now and again if I have a boyfriend or am seeing any guys and I'll ask him if he has a girlfriend or is seeing any girls. It was exactly what I wanted and is just a part of sharing our lives with each other like anything else. The worst I've gotten so far was my dad. I came out to him in a letter in January of 2014 and he called me on the phone and said he didn't raise me to be a faggot, and to go die of AIDS and hung up. He called me a few days later because he needed my help with something, but we never talked about it again until a few days ago when I brought it up because it's been bothering me and he asked why I think I feel that way with all the beautiful women out there and if I ever thought about going to therapy or taking meds to fix it. I tried explaining things to him and answering his questions, and he again told me if I want to be a faggot and go die of AIDS then be his guest.
It seems that friends mostly are supporting and still love you. It seems most negative reactions are from parents, not sure if this is worry for what people will think, or worry for their child's future? :S
Haven't had a negative reaction yet, so I'm super lucky. The nicest one was just when my friend came out to me and I came out to her. It was awesome, we both had no idea that the other was gay. It was the best! xD
Best I've had was my best friend: "So you're trans?" "Yeah..." "And you're gay?" "Yeah..." "So we can make gay joke together and I can ship you with all the hot guy in school?" "Yeah sure Mal." "Good! So I'm just gonna tell you now, I'm going to ship the hell out of you a Teo (Best guy friend I haven't told)." "K, send it to me and I'll help." She squeals and hugs me. "Oh, no wonder you boobs are so small!" I almost died. XD Worst so far is my own mother, whom right now doesn't believe in 'trans' or 'gay' people. Welp, I have one person who's with me at least. ^-^
The best reaction I got was the first time I came out, there was a deep conversation that followed (this was to a teacher who is now one of my best friends). The worst reaction was probably from my parents, they denied it. I don't know if they believe it now, so we'll see how that goes. I only came out to them because they cornered me, I was not ready for that. I went to my teacher the next day and like cried about it because it was awful. Still not out to loads of people, but my friends from high school know at least.
The first person I came out to was my closest Girl Friend. The conversation went like--- Me: XXX I have to tell you something... XXX: What? Me: Haven't you ever wondered if I'm... XXX: Gay? Me: Yeah! I'm dating a guy. XXX: I'm used to it a lot of rich guys I know date around. :lol: Me: Silently thinking (uhm I said I'm dating a guy, not the whole city) :dry: But I still love her. She's my confidant when it comes to my relationships and love life. She also shares my love of fashion. When my parents got wind that I was dating guys. They talked amongst themselves, ultimately my mother was tasked to give me the "talk". She told me they'd love me all the same. Surprising because my family are conservative Christians and are quite homophobic. She never mentioned the gay word though. With my straight guy best friend, because we spent so much time together he kinda knew I was gay. Maybe because of my use of ambiguous pronouns when describing my date. Or when a girl hits on me I'm like NO. And my guy friends would ask me why I turned down the hot chick. I was like NOT MY TYPE. :lol: Ultimately my best friend was dropping hints about me being into guys. We're always going to clubs, about 1-2 times a week. When guys ask for my number, through him (for some unknown reason, maybe because of my RBF) he was quite protective of me and would refuse to give my number. Though he'd hint that a lot of guys in the club would be my type, vice versa. The ultimate "out experience" I had with him was when I kissed a guy in front of him. He just laughed but didn't leave. We're still the best of friends. I'm his wingman, because girls are quite comfortable with me. Worst--- A Girl Friend XXX: You're gay right? Me: Yeah XXX: Let's go for a smoke (drags me out, she's smoking but I'm not) XXX: I kinda knew :icon_wink (proceeds to ask details about my sex life) Me: (Describes the different types of gay men when it comes to that; And I also happen to describe mine) XXX: (asks other details) XXX: Oh so you're like the woman. Me: I just laughed. (But inside: I didn't know being gay made you grow a vagina) :dry::eusa_doh:
