I came out for the first time today.

I finally did it. I came out to someone today and it went incredibly well. In fact I still can't believe it I did it. I am just feeling so many things right now.

It was to a friend/coworker. I told him that I wanted to talk to him before he left and that we needed to speak in private.

So we went to my office and closed the door. This is what I said. "I know how you hate to keep secrets, and it is okay if you tell your wife but I am not ready for everyone to know yet. I'm gay."

I have never been so freaking nervous in my life. Right after I said it, I just about freaked out. I could not believe I said it.

He paused for a second and said "Wow, I would have never guessed you're gay, but that is cool with me." I then told him that that my goal for the year is to come out to everyone and that he is the first person I have told. He told me that he was very proud of me and that I had just taken a very big step. In fact he reiterated this point several times during the conversation. He then asked if my parents knew and I told him no. So we talked about that for a while, and he reassured me that from the way I talk about them he thinks they would be ok with it. He also told me that he could not imagine having to hide something like this for so long, and that it must feel good to get it out.

We talked a little while longer and he told me that I am in a good place to come out. That everyone in our group would be cool with it. He has worked there for over 10 years, so knows everyone pretty well. He also told me that he would not tell anyone until I told him it is ok.

I have to say it was a hard thing to do, but I am glad that I did it. I am very fortunate to have had such a positive experience my first time. Now just to figure out who to tell next.

 

Thanks everyone.

Today I met up with the above mentioned coworker to help him move some stuff. (The curse of owning a pick-up truck).

I was a little worried that things might be awkward. Nope not all, we just talked about normal stuff. I mentioned that last night I went out, which I have not gone out on a Friday in a long time. He asked where I went and I told him I went to hang out with a bunch of guys at the gay community center I go to.

It is so nice to be honest and not have to hide.