I came out to my best friend today.

A bit of background. I recently moved from Dallas to Austin, and the hardest part was leaving my best friend of 11 years. In fact he has been my best friend my entire adult life. He is also very conservative. He reads Ann Coulter and thought John McCain was a flaming liberal and he voted for Mit Romney in primary. He is a died in the wool republican. I was worried about telling him, I was so afraid that I would lose my closest friend. I knew in my heart that would not happen, but still I was so afraid.

He called me this morning to tell me he was passing through town on business. So we met up for dinner this evening. We talked about normal stuff, cars, politics, work, TV the things that friends normally talk about. I thought about telling him in the restaurant, but there were too many others around. So we got back to his truck, and I told him I had something that I want to talk about. He said "What is it?"

I said "I have only recently found the courage to face this my self, but I am gay." Without missing a beat he said, "You know that does not matter to me, you are my best friend and nothing will change that." He asked me how long I have known and I told that I have always known. I just thought it was something that I could hide and change, and that I got tried of fighting it.

It was a short 2 minute drive back to my apartment, and he asked if I want to talk some more. So he came inside and we talked for nearly an hour and a half. On the way up he asked if I am going to tell our mutual friend, who is even more conservative. I said, I will but I don't know how he will react as he is so conservative. He responded yeah, but if he does not like it then it is his problem. After that he said, you know I had no idea.

When we got inside he mentioned that I have a lot of guts, because there is no way he would have the courage to come. We talked about the coming out process and the stuff I went though. He did say that he did wishes I had told him sooner, so that he could have helped me. I told I knew that I could have, but that it was a journey I needed to complete by myself. He completely got what I meant. He also mentioned that he is still here for me, and that if I ever wanted to go to a gay club and wanted someone to go with he would go with me.

He also told me that he was honored that I would come out to him, and that it meant a lot. He also that before tonight he was "ok" with homosexuality, but if asked what his response would have been it would have be completely different. He said that making friends is hard and that I am his best friend. We have the same interests, many of same political views, like doing thing together, our personalities are very similar and that he would not throw away 11 years of friendship over something like sexual orientation.

We then talked a little about coming out to my parents, and then the conversation drifted back to stuff to the stuff the normally talk about. Though he did tell me at the end that I am now officially the coolest person he knows, because he knows no one with the courage to do what I have done.

It is funny I don't know what I was so worried over. I knew it would be ok. He said that I am still the same person, but that is a two way street. He is still the same person as before I came out. The only difference is that we now know a little more about each other.

You know I think his conservative views is what had me worried. You that was silly. His views are a lot like mine. We are both fiscally conservative and socially liberal. It is like he said life is too short, too not do what makes you happy. If anyone should know that he would, as he was nearly killed after an electrical accident a few years back. At one point everyone, including the EMTs thought he was gone.

Our conversation has made me realized what others have said is true. That views on homosexuality are changing because folks know someone who is gay. I am reminded of a conversation we had about 5 years ago. We where talking about the revolutionary war and the mistakes we made in Vietnam and would make in Iraq. His point was that soldiers did not fight because they believed in the principals of democracy and representational government. They fought because the actions of the British government were affecting their brothers, neighbors, and friends. They did not fight for America, they fought for those that they cared about. Seems to draw a parallel to the gay right movement.

 

Yeah I know. I almost want to write them a letter and rub it in their face. HAHA.

Everyone else, thanks. You know it is funny, I had kind of taken our friendship for granted. Last night made me realize how great it is.