Well, around a month ago I posted a new thread about almost coming out to my boyfriend. I gave him an hint but we never talked about it again until last night. It wasn't the best moment.. I went to a club with friends and my boyfriend was there too but I hardly saw him there because I spend most of the time with a good friend of me and my friends cousin. Then they started to play a game: you have to drink something but keep the drink in your mouth and then you kiss someone so that he drinks out of your mouth.. it's really silly but whatever. I didn't want to play the game because I knew that my boyfriend accidentally sees us and he won't understand that it's just game. To cut the matter short, after a while they swayed me and I said that I'm not going to play this game with a boy. My friends cousin (she's a girl) stood in front of me and idk, we suddendly started kissing.. I was really drunk and I know that this is no excuse for what I did. I felt guilty, It meant nothing to me but I know that it means something to my boyfriend. so I decided to tell it my boyfriend. When we got home this morning from the club I told him the truth. I told him that I kissed a girl and that I don't know why I did that. He was kinda angry but mainly he was sad and disappointed. He asked me if he should worry about the kiss because I once told him that I'm maybe not only interested in boys. And that was the moment when I burst out with everything. I think I kissed this girl because I wanted to know how it feels. I've never kissed a girl before so I was just curious. She was totally ok with it because in the end it was just part of the game. (note: she's married and she told me that her husband is also okay with her playing this game with others) That's what I told my boyfriend and yeah.. now he finally knows about my sexuality. I think this is the worst coming out ever.. it's not how I wanted it to be. I'm glad that my boyfriend is not angry anymore. Nevertheless I think that we have to talk about everything again. I know that you will think that I'm the worst girlfriend but sadly I'm not able to undo what happened. I should have thought about my actions before acting. I never meant to hurt my boyfriend. Like I said before, the kiss meant nothing for me but I know that this no excuse for hurting him. I'm sorry to bother you all with this story. I just felt the urge to write my thoughts down..
I can guarantee I've made worse mistakes while sober. Doing it while drunk is not... as bad.. I'm glad he's not angry. And it's good you told him straight out. If he'd seen it and you didn't tell him, it probably would have been worse. As long as you can make sure that he doesn't worry about that one kiss. It 'should' be fine. But I don't know his personality or yours. I wish you good luck. I'm terrible at explaining things to people.
