So, after having my mood set at 'cold' for at least a month now, something finally happened that caused me to change it. At lunch, I was talking to one of my friends. And then, out of nowhere in mid-conversation, he asks if I'm gay. I was so surprised he asked (we're 'friends', but I really don't know him that well) that I couldn't think of anything to say at first, other than "What?". And even that took about 10 or 15 seconds. I have said before that I would answer honestly if somebody ever asked me, as long as I trusted them. I don't trust the guy that asked me. I'm not saying he's a bad guy, because he's not, he's just...unpredictable. At the same time, I wasn't going to lie to him. So, I tried to dodge the question, or distract him(which usually isn't that hard), or just take the conversation in a different direction. Afterwords, I could tell by the look he gave me that he knew. I guess it's hard to not tell the truth without lying. I have no idea if anyone else heard the conversation. The only two people close enough were: 1) my cousin's friend, who is gay...and 2) one of my closest friends, who didn't say anything about it later. But like I said, this guy is unpredictable. I haven't talked to him since then, so I have no idea what to expect from him tomorrow morning. But I do have the feeling that this will end up with me being completely out at school.
(*hug*) I hope he doesn't do anything stupid. I really hate it when people ask that... It's kind of stunning if you're not prepared for it.
Maybe you could slip him a not or just ask him quietly not to spread around what happened. If you make it clear that you really want it to stay between the two of you, he might be more likely to keep quiet.
I'm going to try and talk to him before band tomorrow morning, and if not then, he will probably sit next to me at lunch. I think he knows enough not to say anything, but I always go to the worst-case scenario when I'm nervous.
An update: I got to school early this morning so I could talk to him, but I didn't realize that jazz band had a competition he would be busy practicing for all morning. But, the sentance or so we were able to exchange before someone else intruded in our converstation calmed me down. One thing he asked me was "Were you ready?", and by the way he said it I could tell he is sorry for putting me in a situation I might not have wanted to be in. I'm not worried about him telling anybody else. That was just nervous over-reaction. I think he understands. And he knows it's not his place to say anything. Now that I've had time to think it over, I have that usual post-coming out happiness.