Hi! My name’s Paddy. I am still in the coming out process in that I have not yet come out to everyone. I have come out to nearly all my friends but there are still a few to go and there is also the issue of coming out to my family which I have not done as of yet. :-S... I decided to post a coming out story as I think my story is fairly interesting and had me dealing with a lot of different issues which I might be able to help people with, in the future. This will be a long one so sit tight ;-)... For me, gay or straight wasn’t as simple a question as it is for some. A lot of people talk about knowing they were gay from a young age. I only really knew I was gay for sure when I was 18. Since the age of about 14/15 I had often considered the matter, but never really came to a conclusion as I had always been with a lot of girls. Luckily I have always had a group of very accepting and close friends. Since I ever started questioning my sexuality I have had someone to talk to about it. I think it was my last week at home before going to university when I really realised that I’m not into girls in the way other guys are. I was at a party and one thing led to another...to put it politely, I was sober (usually when I had gotten with girls in the past I was drunk) and certain areas didn’t respond like they should lol. When I started university I had still not really accepted that I was gay. It took me a while before I decided that I was gay for sure (or at least I thought so for a while) and decided to come out. The first person I came out to was a girl at university called Sam who I was pretty sure had a crush on me. I felt like I would be leading her on if I didn’t tell the truth so ended up texting her and saying I was gay. Stupidly, I accidently sent the text to one of my friends (a guy) at home who was also called Sam (I actually think if I had not made this mistake I would not yet be out to anyone other than that one girl). Luckily he is a good friend and has known for a long time that I was questioning my sexuality. He was totally cool with it and he has helped me a lot since then with coming to terms with being gay. The excitement and adrenaline from this spawned a small coming out spree where I told about 10 friends that I was gay. What you’ve got to realise is that I had literally come to the realisation of being gay, and then, within the week, come out to about 10 people (I’m not one to waste time!). I now know this was a very foolish idea as I had not really accepted myself as gay. After the excitement of coming out had worn off I started to, once again, question that I had made the right choice. This was probably the most difficult time of my life and one of the most difficult things I have ever had to deal with (and, to be honest, I am still dealing with it). During the next few months I was constantly dwelling on this one thing. I was pretty much consumed by it and felt really depressed. What made matters worse was that one of my friends from home who I came out to told another friend, who told another friend, who told EVERYBODY I KNOW!!! This majorly sucked and I was absolutely dreading going home for Christmas and having to face all my old school friends. In a way, this helped me to deal with the situation faster as I wanted to come out to my friends who didn’t yet know, before they heard it through somebody else. When I got home for Christmas I had a proper talk with some friends about it and really started to accept who I am. I ended up coming out to a few more friends while at home and am now really starting to accept myself a lot more. Whilst I have not yet fully come to terms with being gay, and I know it might take me a while longer, I felt it was better to confront the situation rather than let rumours circulate about me and have all my friends wondering whether they were true or not. I am now a lot happier than I have ever been and cannot wait to start life as a young gay man. I am only 19 but I feel I have already wasted too much time questioning my sexuality and need to make up for it in the next few years at university. I now face coming out to the remaining people on my “list” but am feeling more confident than ever. Thanks for listening, Paddy :icon_bigg P.S. Sorry for the length of this thread lol!
Hey Paddy, my name is Greg Wow, your story really hit home with me. I did the whole "I think im gay...tell alot of people really quickly!" thing and then as soon as the "high" from that wore off i started to go on a roller coaster ride of accepting / rejecting myself (like you, i still am to an extent). Im 18 and at university now so im grabbing life by the horns and taking charge of my own life for once I hope you the best, and hope to see more of you on EC! So welcome! P.S: Yea, i had the one friend who started to tell everyone else thing happen just very recently
I always worry about sending the wrong texts to the wrong person. Hasn't happened yet luckily. Did your friend Sam know you weren't planning on telling him, and it was just an accident? I was 21 when i finally accepted things, and i still feel i wasted too much time questioning it (well, in denial really) Cool story btw!
Hey congrats on coming out! So, have you ever had relations with a guy?? I'm curious because from your story it sounds like you might not have. What if you do and you find it does nothing for you? I'm just curious is all, don't mean to offend you in any way.
yea my friend knew i hadnt been plannin to tell him as the text was very obviously not meant for him lol. he wasnt botherd tho. he prob wuda been the next person i would have told neway. nope iv not been with a guy yet. if i do it and dont like it then il be back to the drawing board so to speak. duno what id do but i would be very confused as i dont reli get attracted to girls.
