my sister and mom forced me out of the closet tonight. my sister went into computer and found out that i erased the internet history and told my mom, and they both started asking me what i was doing. and they asked me if i was going into gay websites and i couldnt lie anymore so i said yes. then we had this whole talk about my sexuality... i told them i was bi (but didnt tell them i was more of a gay side just yet) my sister wasfine, but my mom said it was hard for her to understand and accept my sexuality-altho she said she still loves me the same... and she said that EC was making me convince that i like guys, even tho im not....-_-(which really isnt true at all) she thinks EC is like a unreliable website that coaxes people to be gay... anyway, it wasnt that bad, but it wasnt pleasant, becuz i really wasnt ready to come out to my family, but i was forced... idk how i feel about this...im not sure if im upset or happy...its just wierd....so sudden...
First of all I have to say, that was very horrible of your sister being so noisy and just..aah!! moving on. My coming out to my parents was also very much unplained. I had an argument with my bad over gays marrying and asked why I was for gay ppl. One thing led to another and he asked me if I was gay and I said yes. my parents told me they loved me unconditionally, but it was still a huge suprise for them. It should be noted my parents cried that night (since i told them i was gay, not bi) you have some leeway. But since you have that "bi excuse" they won't settle for you liking men. there going to try to persuade you to like only women. (my parents tried persuading me toadmit i'm at least bi, but it faiiled) what i did with my parents, i pretty much gave them thier space and time to think about me being gay. if it took me 4 yours to come out of denial, i can only imagine what was going in my parents mind when i told them i was gay. they need to get used to that idea. depending how much your parents are willing to learn, you can might want to show them the "The Bible Told Me So" on youtube. i recomend you waching it first. it is very informative, especially for new people who have no experience or knowledge of homosexuality. i hope this feedback is at least somewhat helpful.
Man, I am sorry that you had to be forced into something you weren't ready for, but you never know, in the long run, maybe it is better if they know...you definitely have the right to be emotionally confused.
Oh yeah, i forgot to add, i also felt wierd when i told me parents. "Did i really just tell them I'm gay!?' it fealt almost like a dream. I went up to my room and just resumed doing my normal business. my parents would ask me if i was relieved or happy that i came out, and i would just say," I don't know. I guess." its one of those things that takes time to settle before you register what happens. Honestly, i still forget my parents know i'm gay.
hey i read that and i'm really sorry. it seems really forced, but i totally understand why you said you were bi, i've come out to my sisters and a few friends as it when even though i'm more leaned towards gay. but i'm not one to talk, im still figuring myself out. anyway, just give it some time, parents mean it when they say that they love you. and i'm the biggest skeptic about anything online, but if anything EC is a place to just know your not alone and to help understand yourself, not force feelings. just know that you're your own person and your opinions are perfectly valid and don't need to be disputed. hang in there
Look at the upside, you are now out. The best thing you can do now is take the bull by the horns. Don't let it be your dirty little secret they found out. Drive home the point that no one convinced you to be gay and that you are ready to accept your true self. If you make it look like a bad thing they will think it is a bad thing.
I can't add much about the experience of your 'involuntary outing' - but, as far as your Mom thinking "EC is like a unreliable website that coaxes people to be gay", it might be useful to mention PFLAG to her - and let her know that one of our Moderators here (beckyg) is a Mom of a gay son who is a PFLAG organiser - and another Mom is one of our official Advisors (Louise) who was actually directed to EC by her son when he came out to her. Hopefully, the fact that there are Moms on here helping - who initially went through the same sort of shock/disbelief/uncertainty as yours - might reassure her that we aren't here to 'make you gay', but to support you in the difficult process of coming to terms with your own 'not straight' sexuality and sharing that with the people whom you care about.
(&&&) It's awful that you were forced out. It's not fair. It'll take a lot of time for your mom to get used to it. Mine is still getting used to it. At least you have your sister to talk with and support you. As far as EC, I don't think you need to worry. It's a place to be supported and talk to friends. It's not like if someone tells you it's okay to be gay that's going to change who you are inside. You are who you are, and you have every right to be here and supported for that. <3
You can't change what has already happened so it doesn't do any good dwelling on your sisters lack of sensitivity. I would just keep the conversation going. Print off the PFLAG materials for your mom. http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=594&srcid=416 If your mom uses the computer I would be happy to talk with her. You can PM me for my e-mail address.
thanks jessejinx and especially beckyg. i appreciate it my moms kinda emo right now so i dont wanna talk to her just yet, but i will talk to her when she gets better so...
