Last November I managed to come out to one of my friends. Until then I had only told one bi guy (whom I know from EC and we met IRL) and one gay guy (whom I met on a dating site, but I practically scared him off on purpose because I felt incredibly bad in his company). I think they don't really "count" in this game called Coming Out, because they are also non-straight. The friend I came out to in November is straight, and my confession was only made possible by him, because if I don't see another side of him, I would have never told him. About two weeks before I told him, we had gone out one evening to talk about stuff, and he had told me about one of his great woes: he got to know a girl and he fell in love with her. He had never been in love up until that point, but she only sees him as a friend. And there's a great chance that she will die because she has some kind of problem with her heart. I knew something has been causing him quite a lot of stress for the past 3 years, but he's been reluctant to say anything about it. The thing is, he even cried in front of me despite him being all about the "macho masculine guy" image, and even he was surprised how that one girl could change him entirely. This side of his is totally new for me, but it made me realize that others also have gigantic emotional problems, and they can be open about it, while not giving a shit about what others might think about them. So I decided that I will return his honesty with my big secret. That night before I went to meet him, I drank a little rum to make it easier, and I think it helped. We talked about this girl, then I steered the conversation to my psychological problems and I told him I will go see a psychologist in a few weeks. Then it went like this: Me: I checked her profile on the website, she's quite religious, I hope she won't try to convert me or something. Him: I don't think so, that would be bad to her career. Me: Nevertheless, I'll be careful what I tell her. For example (*here a shock of fear tightened my chest*) I won't tell her something like "I'm not only attracted to women." Him: *snorts* Why would you say something like that? Me: Because that's how it is. Him: You've never even told me. Me: Well I'm telling you now. He didn't ask anything about it, and I didn't force it, though I reeeaally wanted to. I'm glad he took it like this, as if it was nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe he'll ask me about it later, and I'll try to be as honest with him about it as I can be. Maybe it went like this because I didn't try sitting him down with the "I have something to tell you..." formula. I tried to sound as casual about it as I could manage, and it kinda worked. Since then I've met him once, and I'll meet him next weekend too. He's never said a word about it since. So I think he's the first one to "count" as he is straight, so it must be unusual for him. If anyone had told me I would be telling HIM this then (or anytime), I would have laughed in that person's face. I never even thought I would tell it anyone straight. Well, things changed. That's my story so far.
