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Out but not so proud

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by 2qt2bblond, Feb 4, 2009.

  1. 2qt2bblond

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    Well, a couple weeks ago I came out to three of my closest friends. They were very supportive and completely understanding. However, we haven't talked about it since and it just seems to me like a giant elephant in the room. Before talking to them I thought about my orientation at least once everyday and absolutely knew I was bi. Now, after talking to them, i've stopped thinking about it and am even having doubts about whether I really am or not. Is this normal? How do I bring it up with them? HELP!!!!
     
  2. revolutionrock

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    Yes, that can be a problem. I've found that it doesn't make it any worse to just ask "so, do you have any questions?" or something of the sort. Usually it cuts right through the awkwardness and lets them know that you are willing to discuss it. They may just think you aren't comfortable with their bringing it up.

    :slight_smile:
     
  3. Mirko

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    Hi there! Congratulations on coming out to your friends! Way to go! :slight_smile:

    I don't think it is a problem that they haven't talked to you about it. They are supportive and accepting and that's what matters. Ever since coming out to my friends, we have never talked about it either with the exceptions of right after my coming out to them, or when I bring it up or when I need support with something.

    Sometimes, friends don't say anything because they are afraid of hurting your feelings or aren't sure how to bring up the subject. What you could do, and if you want to talk to them about it, talk with them. Bring it up and say 'I would like to talk to you about something...." Go with one or all of them for a coffee or somewhere where you feel comfortable and start talking with them. I'm sure they wouldn't mind.

    It happens that doubts arise from time to time, because now our friends know and somewhere within you, you are asking yourself "what happens if this is not the case?" But that's completely normal. It's just fears at times, because we are still trying to be ourselves and sometimes we work ourselves so up about coming out that it might take a while to be comfortable with being out. Coming out has probably taken loads off your shoulders and now you are looking for something to replace it with. But keep in mind that you know what your sexual orientation is. You know your feelings.
     
  4. 1974

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    Its taken me a couple of months so far to be more comfortable so it is completely natural because you swind back and forth trying to make sure in your own head. just try to relax and it will work isteslf out.

    The more people i have told the easier it has got.
     
  5. Twentysomething

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    It might seem like a giant elephant in the room to you but chances are they arent even thinking about it. I know when I came out to my best friend I was secretly worried that things would be different and that she would be bothered by it even though she assured me she wouldnt. Over time I realized that she really could care less that I like girls and all my worrying was over nothing :slight_smile: Hopefully your friends are like mine and dont see it as an issue. If you're wondering how they feel about it maybe make a sly comment relating to your sexuality and see how they react. That's what I did to see how my friend really felt and she wasnt even fazed by it. Hope this helps :slight_smile:
     
  6. Dazed

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    see im having the same problem i came out to all my friends in high school and i knew i was gay then. nothing changed. then a few days ago i came out to my parents and now im wondering if it wasnt all in my head. even though i still find girls lovely. >_< so after 6 years of being fine with things im wondering if i have it right.
     
  7. JMar2222

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    Congrats, and it's okay, they accept you, and are loyal friends.

    Once you build it up so much and say it, you release a lot of what was in your head, and it's not so complex and demanding. That's why it's healthy to come out for your mental health. It's great you took a break from thinking about it, it's a part of you, it dosn't define you.

    You have all the time in the world to relax and understand the conclusion your body has come to. It's your bodies way of reassuring and making sure before you completley jump into the out lifestyle. It'll be okay!
     
  8. 2qt2bblond

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    thanks for all the advice guys!! It's been really helpful.