My Very Long Coming Out Story.

Hello to anybody willing to read! I've been coming here to sort out moral qualms, and figure out what's right and what's wrong for awhile now. So I figured I would share some of the experiences I've had in the last year of my life to give back and hopefully help out anybody else who's looking to feel more honest with the people around them. As a disclaimer, there is some serious sarcasm in here.

So I'll start with myself, I'm 21, I live and grew up in a part of Canada where agriculture, oil, and mining are prevalent (No shortage of stereotypical “Macho Tough Guy” jobs here). Both my parents grew up in farming, and moved to a smaller city. They bought a house together, I was born, and then a few years later they got a divorce. My childhood wasn't the greatest but it wasn't terrible either. We moved around lots. I always had a few friends but not many. I got picked on lots in elementary school and I always felt like I stood out like a sore thumb.

When high school started I took the “blending in” route, and I was able to make a lots more friends this way. My high school was very practical, offering lots of trades classes like mechanics, electrical, woods. So naturally most of my friends that I met in these classes turned out to be tradespeople, and so did I. My friends and I drove trucks everywhere , fixed them up, built all sorts of crazy projects, we drank beer (lots of beer, like ridiculous amounts), listened to country music, partied with beautiful blonde girls. I thought we had it all figured out. Guys that had little zipy cars, and listened to “Untz, Untz” music, well they were gay, and that wasn't cool. I wouldn't ever be gay, because that wasn't cool.

While still in high school, I started working in construction. I worked every week night, and every weekend I could. Because that's what tough guys did. By the time I graduated, I probably owned about $5000.00 in tools. (Real tough guys have lots of tools). I worked for about a year after highschool for a small town construction company, that mainly did work on farms and acreages. After that I started a buissness in construction. I worked almost every hour I was awake. This is about when I started watching gay porn. But I still wasn't gay this was just some weird anomaly, and when I look at a guy I'm just sizing him up seeing how I compare to him, see if he's a tough guy, definitely not checking him out. I like beautiful blonde girls.

Fast forward to the end of 2014. I'm really not sure what spurred this moment, but I finally had the thought process that got the ball rolling. It takes a special frame of mind for it to transpire.... “HOLY S*** MAYBE I'M GAY”. Many, many, strange google searches followed this. At some point I stumbled upon EC. It took hours and hours of reading, and thinking, putting way to much thought into everything. I was pretty confused until I got the balls to tell a friend of mine. At first it was like she didn't hear me, or thought I was joking, and conversation just continued on. So I tried again “I'm gay” (felt like coughing up a brick, I was shaking like I drank a whole pot of coffee, and I was sweating like a pig in a butcher shop). I think I had to tell her at least five times before she believed me. But I knew she would be okay with it because she had other gay friends, and she was!

I started using a dating app, put a picture of myself on the internet that anybody in the world could see, and under that picture it said I was interested in men. I decided I would jump into this dating world head first. The life of sex with drunk strangers wasn't for me (but is totally okay). I talked with lots of guys, just kinda feeling things out. Felt like I was a little behind in the dating world. I honestly didn't know how a date with a guy and a girl is supposed to go, let alone with a guy. Luckily he was more nervous than I was. A few more dates that seemed to go well next thing I know I'm trying to figure out what the hell a top and bottom are (Wait what? you mean the guy sitting on top is the bottom???). The first few boys fell in love a little to fast for my liking, and well we didn't really have much in common, and I'm sorry, but I crushed their hearts.

Hold on a minute here. The plane for my month long trip to south america leaves tomorrow. I really felt like I needed to tell my mom about me. I had told a few more of my friends that were girls at this point, and one of my male friends. Everything had gone really well, I think coming out to someone is a crime of opportunity. So most of my friends I would tell when we were having a good time, laughing after work, or having a drink in a hot tub. I really think that its important that everybody is already in a positive mood. The girls always seemed to be excited about it. I would always make sure that at least one friend who knew I was gay was around when I told the next one.

Back to telling my mother. This one went okay, wasn't as easy as any of my friends. I planned to tell her while we were joking over a drink at a restaurant she's fond of. But a friend of hers sat down to our little meeting before I could cough out my brick. So here we are sitting in my truck in a restaurant parking lot, My plane left in less than 24 hours. I managed to mumble out “There's something I need to tell you”. This is when I started crying. I cried like a baby. The truck driving, contractor son my mom raised was weeping like a baby. I hadn't cried in a very long time. “I'm gay” I choked those words out. I did it. I wanted to puke, I was shaking. I absolutely nailed the timing, see you later mom, I'm just going to a developing country for a month. Bye now.

I've told all of my closest friends now, and I'm really appreciative of how that has turned out. I always explain that its not a choice (“Not everybody is born liking olives” is something I refer to often) You'd be surprised how homophobic somebody can be, How many terrible things they may have said about LGBT people, and they can still come to their senses pretty quickly, and eat some of the words they once said.

I still have to talk to my dad, and he's going to be the toughest person to tell, very old fashion you see. He restores old cars, drinks beer in his garage, hunts, fishes, rides motorcycles, and watches all the sports on the big screen. But he recycles, that's a progressive start right?

He's going to have to find out soon though. Because I'm in love with an amazing guy! And we've been together for 4 months now. Nothing feels better than holding a guys hand you love in the truck of a once tough guy . I really hope dads okay with this, Things have been changing really fast and I already feel like I'm a few pages ahead of him.


I feel like I'm through the hardest part of the battle. Still lots of questions though....

Are fart jokes acceptable with someone you have butt sex with?

Do you ever wear each others clothes?

What do you picture your future? (all I know is I want to have a nice kitchen where me and someone I love can cook amazing food, and we will have a very small bed so were forced to cuddle)

How am I supposed to tell people I work with? (Never thought I would wear anything rainbow, but a rubber rainbow bracelet or something seems like a subtle way to hint this across to people before they ask about my girlfriend)

Has anybody had an issue with their boyfriend (or girlfriend) being more or less out of the closet than themselves? And has this ever led to issues down the road? (This is something I will talk more about with my boyfriend and I will be as loving and supportive as I can).

Thanks for reading!