For a long time I didn't even know what transgender meant, I suppose you can blame the fact that my life has been largely sheltered. I've identified as trans for a year or more with the support of two friends and my datemate. My mom started noticing my behavior and didn't respect my privacy even though I wasn't ready to talk about it. She ended up going through my notes from therapy and discovered the part I wrote on being trans. She became extremely upset and confronted me about it, and I just started falling apart so I asked my brother to come get me so I could gather myself at his place. I told him I was trans before this event but I don't think he takes it seriously as he's never brought it up again though he was supportive when I first told him. A few days ago my mom brought it up again, condemning my gender and sexual identities, saying I can never be anything but a woman, and I'm just angry at men. Which makes no sense since I consider myself panromantic. She then tried to get me to say if I'm planning on surgery (wanting to know if I can just stay the way I am) and that maybe 'we' should find someone to 'help' me. I don't know what to do. I'm working on getting my license and then I'm going to try and find a decent job. I'm not sure I can stay here much longer as she keeps saying she feels like she's lying to my dad by not telling him anything. Unfortunately I don't do therapy anymore since my mom didn't see change happening fast enough, and I hate bringing my problems up too much to my friends much as they have stuff to deal with too. Sorry about the long post, I'm new and maybe all I need is to hear that it gets better.
I'm in the same position. My brother was like the second person I told who I guess is supportive but doesn't see me as his sister or really understand it. Also my mom and dad sort of outed me to them by calling me out on it. It took me over a year to recover my relationship with my parents. Has your mom said "I love you no matter what?" If she truly does it will be shown. Your job is to show her it's real and help her get over denial. I kept at it. My parents are past denial struggling with understanding and not quite accepting yet as they don't recognize me as a daughter.
She does say things "I'll always love you", I guess sometimes its hard to hear that after the other things she says. Not that I can't understand where she's coming from though, and anyone who doesn't really understand... It just hurts. I'll just keep on working at things and hope she doesn't tell my dad, or I can move out in the near future.
