Good morning EC members. Its been a while since I visited the forum. And a lot has happened. I came out. Or rather I am now out to the people I care about. In April 2015 I moved into a little space I can be myself in after staying with friends in their apartment after my last big breakup. Late in 2015 I became acquainted with a guy and we became friends. One evening I visited him to deliver some items I worked on for him and we went for pizza. Our conversation was polite and then grew more serious. We started talking about ridding our lives of negative stuff and energy to make way for new, beautiful stuff and energy. I then told him that I know what he is talking about on a more personal level. And so I told him I am gay. From there I explained the challenges I face and the reasons why I was still in the closet. He challenged me in a lovely way to come out before the end of 2015. His explanation was more coherent and clear than any one I have ever heard or read even on this very forum. "Never apologize for yourself and for who you are. Come out for your own sake and mental well being. Set yourself free." Forward to new years eve 2015. I was agonized. I wanted to do it now more than ever before. In my usual way I typed up a text and sent it to both my parents at the same time. 23h55 was the time. At first my folks were disgusted and shocked. And then heart broken and then feeling like they failed as parents. But now, in mid February things seem to be evening out again. They are starting to realize I will always be their son. It is liberating. Gone are those spells of wrenching anxiety. My advice, to whom may read this - Do it for yourself. Not for a boyfriend or girlfriend or a loved one. For yourself and your own well being. You deserve to be who you are. Love yourself. I have done this alone with no support from a boyfriend. But I have done it with amazing support from amazing friends. What does the future now hold? I can focus on my career. I can hope to be involved with some charity work on the LGBT front. And what would be grand is to meet my life partner and best friend, get married and build a future together. Love yourself.
Wow, that's friggin' awesome! I find that when I set myself deadlines to come out to my family, there's always something going on with at least one of them that's stressful or important and I don't want to take away from that and damper the mood or add to the stress. Was it the same kind of thing for you?
