For me, coming out has been a long experience. I first came out as pansexual to various online friends, many of which were older than me and supported me in discovering myself, around the age of 11 or 12 (the same age around which I had a solid realization that I was not heterosexual). Eventually, I made a really good friend who I roleplay'd with on various sites made using webs.com. He was a trans man, and the first trans person I'd ever met. He helped me through a lot of self discovery. He knew my parents were generally supportive, and I told him I wanted to come out to them. At this point, I was 13. He told me he thought it was a good idea, so long as I believed they would understand. I got excited, ran downstairs, said "I have something to tell you guys", and promptly lost any kind of courage I'd had before as I looked my mom and dad in the face. Of course, it was a little too late to just say "nevermind" and head upstairs. So, I sat down on the couch, and twiddled my thumbs for a minute, before quietly managing to get out the words "I'm pansexual". Of course, they didn't get it. They'd never heard the term, and they didn't seem to be able to wrap their heads around it despite my efforts to explain it. They ensured me that they were fine with whoever or whatever I was, but told me they didn't think I should come out for a while, because I was young. I understand now that their intentions were good, but it still hurt- I recognized, however, that it could have gone much, much worse. I told a few close friends of mine, mostly to spite my parents. I never really spoke with them about it after that. When I was 15, I began to hang out with a group of people who were very, very queer. It was gradual, though- first, one of the people in the group came out to us as trans. Then, slowly, we began to discover that basically none of us were cisgender heterosexuals. It's funny how that happens. The whole "token gay friend" is a complete myth- we all just gravitate towards each other, before we even know that we're all gay. I came out to facebook friends through a status a few months later, mostly sick of being assumed straight. It wasn't until roughly a year and a half ago, however, that I really did it. See, I've always had a bit of a dramatic flare. At my school, we have these assembly's every little while in which we're encouraged to go up to a mic and say anything that might be on our chests. The only real rules are to be school appropriate and to be respectful. So, uh... long story short, I pulled an Ellen Page. With a few friends coming up alongside me for moral support, I had written myself a little speech, and I gave it my all. The applause was huge, and it fueled my dwindling ego, and people who I didn't even know came up to me for days afterwards telling me how brave I was. Apparently some guys were talking about it in the locker room, and the one guy, who is notorious for being outspoken and stubborn, mentioned how he didn't think he'd ever have the guts to do what I did. It was a nice little 15 minutes of fame for me. There was one thing, though, that really stood out to me about it. There was this person, a grade ahead of me, who was so undeniably, incomparably, cool. They had a cool name, a cool demeanor, cool hair, cool glasses, cool friends. I was so in awe of them- especially since they were a senior. I was just in the washroom one day, washing my hands after putting together decorations for a school dance, and they stopped and looked at me. In the most casual, chill tone you've ever heard, they then asked me: "Hey... you're Jasmine, right?" I kind of nodded and maybe muttered a "yeah". They continued, "that stunt you pulled, at the school assembly... that took some major balls, man. Kudos." And then continued on with their day, as if they hadn't just made my entire life. So, yeah. That's always kinda stuck with me. I have some regrets about coming out in the over the top way that I did, even if the results were mostly positive. Hey, though, at least no one will question it if I show up at some point with a girlfriend! My parents have become more understanding about my sexuality these days, and I've actually begun speaking to them about it, so that's an improvement. Sorry about how long this got. :')
