So, more or less, I'm gay. My immediate family knows, as in my parents and one brother, and at least my dad thinks I may be able to 'overcome' or at least suppress my sexuality, which of course I am conveniently overlooking at the moment...but that is another story. Anyways, my mom's side of the family is having a family reunion this coming weekend which is for my grandparent's combined birthdays. I really dont see this as a time to bring anything up about my orientation to any of my cousins, aunts, uncles or grandparents, and I won't...the only thing that may come up is my relatives asking how my love life is going. I know I could completely sluff off the comment with, "Ah, I am just going to focus on school right now," and that is probably exatly what I am going to say, but it is just a little akward especially if one of my immediate family members it there (this sort of thing has already happened once before with my brother and some family friends). Honestly, I am not concerned about it, it just came to mind to me just now as I was about to log out of here so I thought I would post it.
I find extended family harder to tell than anyone else. It's that strong connection, but you're not that close. Only one of my cousins knows and possibly another, but I don't really like most of my extended family all that much. It will probably be ok though. Extended family only make polite conversation most of the time anyway.
You're doing the right thing by not trying to hijack the reunion to come out. That said, if in private conversations you mention it, and you treat it like it's no big thing, people tend to follow suit, so if you're chatting with that one aunt you get along with pretty well and she asks about your love life, you might consider just being honest and playing it off as a, "Well, I thought everyone knew already," sort of thing.
yea, they dont need to know. if your in a one on one conversation, and it comes up, then its up to u tell. only if u choose to of coarce.
I agree with the other posts. The reunion is not the place to grandstand but if you are in private conversation then the choice is yours. In answer to the question 'how's your love life'; if your were straight you'd probably answer very casually 'I haven't found the right girl yet' and that would be that. I think if you're asked that and you're gay, a similarly casual answer 'I haven't found the right guy yet' is a good way to lay down the road map. Leave it in their court without being offensive or threatening.....
So what do you think of this...if they ask me, "Have you found anyone/ any grils particularly attractive?" without even 'necessarily' referencing ANYTHING about a gay orientation, I could just say "nope" and then when they say, "Well, are you looking?" I can be like, "Not at all." And then totally move on to another subject. It would be like not saying anything, and if it flies right past them, oh well, but if my answers DO strike them as a little off, they may just put half an ear up?
That's one way of dodging, if that's what you want to do, and it works reasonably well for a few years. After that, people might start to wonder to themselves. Like I said, it's all up to you how to answer. A cursory answer might get you out of several conversations, but there's always that one aunt that really really wants to know, so just be ready for it. Whatever you do, treat it casually, since it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or anything.
I could be wrong but it sounds somewhat like you're hoping the right person will ask if you're gay and lay the groundwork for you. I have to remember back a hundred years or so but when I was your age all the older folks would ask about your 'love life' - it's a conversation starter like the weather. I was once asked by my commanding officer when I was about 25 if I had any plans for marriage. Being the comedian I am, I replied 'no sir, I'm gay'. The look on his face told me he wasn't amused, but even though he thought I was being a smart ass, and I was, I was actually telling him the truth. Don't worry too much about this. Opportunities will come your way and you'll eventually be comfortable with your response. Good luck and walk Proud.
I'll second this. Like I said in my initial post, if they ask, feel free to be honest. From my own perspective, I hope you will be honest if anyone asks about your love life.
Like what a lot of people are saying, just be cool, I'd say you're right not to 'hijack' the reunion with it. If you feel comfortable tell a few people, otherwise feel no obligation to. If the ever-dreaded "how's your love life?" comes up, just be casual, say not much going on, or concentrating on school. Keep it casual and good luck!
It's how I have gotten by for the last, oh, 8 years or so. This year is the first year they stopped asking me, and they seem to be avoiding the topic like the plague (which they don't do around my cousins). So they might be on to something I always resolved not to lie if they asked directly, though they never did that.
What else to reply but AAARGH!!! :icon_wink Though the idea of them knowing has been bothering me less and less lately... I'm not the OP, however, so he might still have a few years left to decide when to tell them.
Thanks for the relpies everyone, unfortunetaly the reunion, while still going on this weekend, I will not be attending anymore. The weather here in the Upper Midwest is about to drop...I mean the barometer that is. We are supposed to get like an inch of snow an hour and my folks dont want to risk the drive. Perhaps some other time.
