My journey to the LGBT+ community

Fasten your seat belts, its gonna be a long ride. This is my journey from being a 'straight' girl, to becoming comfortable being bi and finally realizing that I am gay.

(also, I haven't proof read, so I apologize if something doesn't make sense..)

Alrighty, last summer I was back home from my first year of university. I was back working at the fast food place I'd worked through high school. In August as I was starting to get ready to fly back to school, I guess I realized that I may have had a crush on one of my female coworkers. I didn't think much of it, because in my mind 'I had always been able to appreciate an attractive girl.' I pushed the thought from my mind and moved on with my life.

Let's just clear something up: I knew that there are different sexual orientations. I just never thought that being anything other than straight was an option for me.

Fast forward to October, and I started to question my sexuality again. I decided that I must be bisexual, because I could form an attraction to women. I browsed around on tumblr for some resource and advice blogs, and I read other people's stories. I decided that I had to talk to someone about this. Now, I am not terribly comfortable expressing my feelings or talking about myself. My best friend is a lesbian, so I decided I'd talk to her first, because she would understand the most. And I was most comfortable talking to her. So, one night we went for a walk, but I was unable to bring up the topic of sexuality and my thought about myself. However, that night I wrote her a letter, slid it under her door and waited. Eventually, she texted me (she had been out, so I knew it would be a long wait). I received a letter the next day from her, telling me how proud she is of me, that I was starting be get to a point where I was ready to share that about myself, and that she would always be there for me. Funny though, I still hadn't fully accepted being bi until a few days later.

I decided I had to come out to my sister next. My sister and I are very close. We talk a lot but we don't talk about personal stuff, so this was going to be hard for me. I wanted to tell her in person during the winter holidays, but I knew that it wasn't going to happen. I needed to tell her before the holidays though, so I sent her a facebook message. She was surprised that I told her/brought up the idea of sexuality, but I knew that she would be accepting (which she was).

Next, I came out to my 2nd closest friend. My plan was to tell her in person with words, but we were sitting in my room and I panicked. I tried, but I couldn't get the words across. I ended up writing it down on a sticky note and handing it to her. She sort of squealed and hugged me. A couple days later, I wrote a tumblr post and sent it to my high school friends (in the off chance they wouldn't see it on their dashboards) as well as to my sisters high school friends (all of which I am close with as well). One day while at Subway with my friends, I told the other two in my friend group.


Okay, so all of this happened in 5 months. I have since finally fully accepted and was comfortable with being bisexual. However, I was still confused. Every so often, my friends and I will sit in someones room and we'll just talk. More often than not, the conversation turns to sex (ok, I've never been in a relationship, never been on a date. So sex is pretty foreign to me). I have learned a lot through these conversations, and between them and the internet, the idea of sex with a guy was a turn off for me. My thought was 'I can still be romantically interested in men.'

Two weeks ago, I was listening to Fifteen by Taylor Swift, and the final line was sang: 'And you just might find who you're supposed to be, I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen' and this line just struck a chord in me. After I heard that line, I said out loud: 'I'm gay.' And it was true. I believed it, it was me. I had finally 'figured out who I was supposed to be,' although not really, because there is so much more to a person than their sexuality. But I had this figured out at least.

Or so I thought. These past couple of weeks I was just as confused as I was when I couldn't admit I was bi. I had just become comfortable identifying as bi, and now I didn't think I was anymore. I felt like an imposter, because I had only ever really expressed feelings for, and crushed on males. Up to date, I have only ever had a crush on 2 girls. Anyways, last night I was talking to another friend about this, and she helped me out, and through that conversation, I have now fully accepted that I am gay. I plan on telling my friends this weekend.


Quick recap (tl;dr): I started to question my sexuality, slowly started to come out as bi in the past 5 months. I find it hard to express myself, so I wrote a couple letters telling people I was bi. Recently discovered I am gay, still haven't told my close friends. Talked to one friend about this, she helped me out, and I plan on coming out this weekend.


Also, fun fact: everyone already thinks I'm gay. Multiple people have asked my friend (she never gave them a direct answer as to keep my privacy while I was figuring it out). The friend I talked to last night (I wasn't out to her until last night) knew I was gay (or at least queer) when she first met me. I've started describing it as 'everyone knew I was gay before I knew' :lol: