Empty Closets Coming Out Resources and a Safe Place to Chat
Welcome Forum Chat Room Resources News Members

Go Back   Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out > Support Area > Coming Out Advice > Coming Out Stories

Coming Out Stories Share your coming out story and experiences here.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 21st Feb 2009, 05:07 PM   #1
Crackajack
Guest
 
Posts: n/a

Tournaments Won: 42

Default Dads.

I don't know wheather it's me or just dads, But I think Bi/Gay/Transgender/Pansexual and any other sexuality..people...(?) (sorry about grammar) But i think we try to stear away from telling dads and just letting mums know, I feared about how dad would take it, it wasn't actually that bad , mind you, i sort of left a note by the bed saying...he's very...lazy , might not of read it, anyway, how do you feel about telling dads (and mums, But Dads mostly )

Ta.

James
  Reply With Quote
Old 21st Feb 2009, 05:10 PM   #2
The Lonely Stoner
Full Member
 
DexterMorgan's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: Out to everyone
Location: Santa Monica, CA, USA
Age: 21
Posts: 657
Join Date: Feb 2009


Default Re: Dads.

I haven't told my dad yet. I don't think I need to. For over a decade, he hasn't been in my life. I started talking to him when I was about 13, and even after that we barely know each other. He's in and out of rehab, too. I totally would tell him if I knew him better, but I just can't see it happening now.
__________________
Closets are for clothes; not me.
DexterMorgan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st Feb 2009, 05:20 PM   #3
J'essaie de Parler Français! :]
Full Member
 
littledinosaurs's Avatar
 
Gender: Garçon
Orientation: Bisexuel
Location: Nouvelle-Angleterre.
Age: 23
Posts: 2,279
Join Date: Sep 2008


Default Re: Dads.

Um i didn't do a formal coming out but my dad is more chill/less awkward about it.
__________________
Âllo Là
littledinosaurs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st Feb 2009, 05:32 PM   #4
No Longer A Member
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Bisexual
Out Status: A few people
Location: British Columbia
Age: 62
Posts: 240
Join Date: Feb 2009


Default Re: Dads.

OK, Emorawz. I'm 57, probably old enough to be your grandad, but I'm a dad, so go ahead and tell me as if I was your dad and then I'll respond....
stilsurchin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st Feb 2009, 05:48 PM   #5
The Enigma
Guest
 
Posts: n/a

Tournaments Won: 42

Default Re: Dads.

I personally disowned my father but he wouldn't have cared anymore than my mother.
  Reply With Quote
Old 21st Feb 2009, 06:23 PM   #6
Well Known
Regular Member
 
Jonah 4's Avatar
 
Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: Living Life with Lots of Integrity
Location: Indiana
Age: 24
Posts: 229
Join Date: Dec 2008


Default Re: Dads.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emorawz View Post
I don't know wheather it's me or just dads, But I think Bi/Gay/Transgender/Pansexual and any other sexuality..people...(?) (sorry about grammar) But i think we try to stear away from telling dads and just letting mums know, I feared about how dad would take it, it wasn't actually that bad , mind you, i sort of left a note by the bed saying...he's very...lazy , might not of read it, anyway, how do you feel about telling dads (and mums, But Dads mostly )

Ta.

James
Yeah, I think its probably socio-psychological. But, I haven't come out to my dad yet either - even though I came out to my mom and even grandmother. That said, I'm going to tell my dad over spring break(though itll be a more of a "I'm actually going to live as a gay man" coming out rather than "I'm gay" sorta thing)
Jonah 4 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st Feb 2009, 06:29 PM   #7
The Enigma
Guest
 
Posts: n/a

Tournaments Won: 42

Default Re: Dads.

I think most people who have issues coming out to their fathers usually have confrontational fathers or live beneath a sociological barrier--but I also think the people who have the most problematic dilemma happen to be males. I think its a measurement thing between guys. A son is always 'supposed' to exceed the father and homosexuality can be thought of as a supreme failure. That's my opinion.
  Reply With Quote
Old 21st Feb 2009, 09:06 PM   #8
Older and bolder!
Full Member
 
Mickey's Avatar
 

Gender: Female
Orientation: Lesbian
Out Status: Out to everyone
Location: Massachusetts
Age: 52
Posts: 1,774
Join Date: Aug 2008


Default Re: Dads.

I agree that's it's harder coming out to your dad,when you're a guy.
Years ago,when I came out,my father said,"I can accept it 'cause you're my daughter,but if you were my son,I'd kick your ass!" At the time,I was just glad he accepted me...and that I was a girl!
__________________
We don't choose to be gay...we're CHOSEN!
Mickey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st Feb 2009, 11:00 PM   #9
Well Known
Regular Member
 
Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: Out to anyone that asks or reads facebook
Location: Bensalem, PA
Age: 28
Posts: 192
Join Date: Feb 2008


Default Re: Dads.

I actually had a harder time with my mom knowing. I had no idea how my parents would react when i told them. Well I knew, but i couldn't envision any scenario except worse case ones. In all of those my parents would only be merely disappointed, which was a quite devestating prospect but not a worst possible coming out. However, my mom has this ability to sear through someones soul with nothing more than a glance. IT is entirly disarming and horrible to experiece, like pure malice being syphoned in a beam towards you. (Not to say my mom uses it often, I've only seen it on rare occasion and never directed at myself.) It was the worst case where going home meant having that look from her everytime that scared me most. I would be hurt with non-acceptance or disappointment from my dad, but the look of disappointment was far better than that look.
ArcusPravus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st Feb 2009, 11:10 PM   #10
Hugs - $POA
Full Member
 
Stuie's Avatar
 

Gender: e^(πi) +1 = 0
Orientation: Schnoo
Out Status: Moo Cow
Location: Canberra, Australia
Age: 21
Posts: 1,462
Join Date: Aug 2008


Default Re: Dads.

My dad is more comfortable with it than my mum actually. I think it's because he has a few gay friends and he's generally pretty liberal-minded. One of his best friends just came out and there's a whole messy divorce going on, but yeah.
__________________
STRAAAAAAAAAAAWURUWERT AND THE LESBIANS!
MADDATRON3000X's (Maddy) Fag Hag
Loves Pauline in the form of the equation f(x): (-∞,2) -> R, 2^-x

Stuie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st Feb 2009, 11:16 PM   #11
EC Addict
Full Member
 
limfjord96's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Pretty Gay
Out Status: Out to everyone
Location: San Diego
Age: 33
Posts: 442
Join Date: Feb 2009


Default Re: Dads.

i havent told either of them, but i know my mom wont care, and i have no clue about my dad, i suspect he wont care as he has four other sons and a grip of grand kids. And u gave him many years of sports glory and all the father son stereotypes, besides im younger, quicker, faster, smarter and more fit then him, so i would just force him to be ok...lol
__________________
Shake off this sadness, and recover your spirit, sluggish you will never see the wheel of fate that brushes your heel as it turns going by, the man who wants to live is the man in whom life is abundant.
-Miguel De Una Muvico
limfjord96 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd Feb 2009, 02:48 AM   #12
When You're Good To Mama...
Full Member
 
OneHatMadder's Avatar
 
Gender: Boy/Drag Queen
Orientation: Gayer than Christmas.
Out Status: Out? Darling, I was never IN!
Location: Ministry of Love, New Zealand
Age: 23
Posts: 1,975
Join Date: Dec 2007

Tournaments Won: 4

Default Re: Dads.

I told my Dad first.
I never told my mum, my sister did.
My mum started yelling at me saying:
"Why didn't you tell me first?!"
Hahaha.
__________________
Call me Mama

I dislike Gaga and hate Glee. Does this mean I lose my gay licence?
OneHatMadder is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd Feb 2009, 03:27 AM   #13
يَناير
Full Member
 
Janvier's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: Out to everyone
Location: France
Age: 24
Posts: 843
Join Date: Aug 2008


Default Re: Dads.

I was kinda stressed out, my mother was terrified, she didn't want me to tell him without her by my side.
Then, my father was talking about my (ex)girlfriend so I told him it was over and I'm into guys actually. He was like 'meh, your choice' so that was cool

My friend came out to his parents too but his mother disowned him and his very very very very masculine father completely accepts him. Weird.
__________________
Uncertainty excites me.
Janvier is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd Feb 2009, 03:35 AM   #14
The easily corrupted ^_^
Full Member
 
ColdSnap's Avatar
 
Gender: Male
Orientation: Boy Botherer
Out Status: Out to everyone
Location: C-diff - Wales
Age: 25
Posts: 343
Join Date: Nov 2008


Default Re: Dads.

yeah i let my mum take care of that one, mind you i'm not that close with my dad, you know it's not like i even tell him what i've done in my day so why tell him who i'm sleeping with :/
ColdSnap is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd Feb 2009, 03:51 AM   #15
Κοίταξέ με δυο φορές..
Full Member
 
xXHolic's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: though was bi, but something has changed =/
Out Status: 99.9%
Location: Athens, Greece
Posts: 368
Join Date: Jan 2009


Default Re: Dads.

my dad is really great! I told him "if I feel a connection with another person, I don't care about his sex and his age, we can have something more" and the only thing he told me was "be carefoul about the age thing" lol! his girlfriend has some gay friends so he is really openminder
on the other hand, my mom just tries to convince me I'm not bi.. it is like
me:"mom, im bisex"
mom:"no you are not"
me:"what do you mean"
mom:"I know you arent. you are just confused. you will get over it"
me:"ooookkk.."

in my case, I think my dad's reaction is admirable!
__________________

all the birds shall sing at dawn, blessed and wet with joy.
you and i will meet one day, under the night sky lit by soft black stars.
xXHolic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd Feb 2009, 04:20 AM   #16
Got Honda???
Full Member
 
hiddendc4's Avatar
 

Gender: what's this funny looking thing between my legs?
Orientation: Does it even really matter anymore?
Out Status: Family: 1! Friends: 5(ish)
Location: Sunny So. Cal.
Posts: 312
Join Date: Jan 2009


Default Re: Dads.

i think the hardest coming out is going to be to my dad and thats only cause we are really close, i think that if i told him im bi/gay and he practically dosowns me that it would hurt even more than living a lie around him, although i dont really think that will be the case since one of my brother's best freinds is gay and my dad seems to be cool with it
hiddendc4 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd Feb 2009, 06:42 AM   #17
Boy Next Door
Regular Member
 
premiumheart's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: I like guys. And maybe girls, too.
Out Status: My parents, my sister, and a cousin...
Location: Philippines
Age: 24
Posts: 71
Join Date: Feb 2009


Default Re: Dads.

I haven't told my dad yet. But apparently, he and my mom already had the talk about what they'd do "if I was gay". And from what she said, he'd be very supportive. I plan to tell him soon since we're really close and I don't want him left in the dark.

But yeah, I think that we sorta really tell moms first because they're the caring ones in the family. The dad's usually the stricter one who expects a lot from us and whatnot. It's defo psychological.
__________________
"Beneath the million stars there's no need to pretend...
I look around tonight and wonder why we can't end...
The best kept secret..." ~Bare~
premiumheart is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd Feb 2009, 09:09 AM   #18
Cecile's sidekick
EC Advisor
 
Filip's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: All but extended family
Location: Belgium, EU
Age: 31
Posts: 4,010
Join Date: Feb 2009


Default Re: Dads.

My dad sadly passed away a few years ago, so it's a moot point. But I think he would have been okay with it more than my mom. My mom would probably be okay with it eventually, but I think my dad would have immediately accepted it.

I find the idea of him not being around to calm down my mother makes it harder to come out...
Filip is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd Feb 2009, 07:18 AM   #19
EC Addict
Full Member
 
kramer362's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: A few people
Location: western new york
Age: 28
Posts: 402
Join Date: Nov 2007


Default Re: Dads.

I don't plan on ever coming out to my dad. He's highly religious and for some reason I always remember him being pretty passionate about thinking homosexuality is an immoral choice. I'm not sure what made him that way but it's not worth the drama or stress it would put me under since I only talk to him 2-3 times per year anyway, even though he lives 5 minutes away.
kramer362 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd Feb 2009, 08:38 AM   #20
Member
Regular Member
 
LyraLissa's Avatar
 

Gender: Female
Orientation: Flamboyantly Lesbian
Out Status: Even the polar bears got the memo.
Location: The frozen north
Age: 20
Posts: 65
Join Date: Feb 2009


Default Re: Dads.

My dad was a ray of sunshine about it- it was my mom I was and still am concerned about..
Probably 'cause I'm a girl, though. I think she has trouble understanding it because I'm supposed to grow up just like she did... and I'm not.
~Lyra
__________________
If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work. 'Hello, can't work today. Still queer.'
LyraLissa is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Friend's Dad's Church Noah Current Events, World News, & LGBT News 4 13th Nov 2008 03:23 PM
Family>>>love<<< Read!!! Trent13 Coming Out Advice 2 22nd Jun 2008 11:09 PM
Poetry, Short Stories or Whatever c_jayo6 Entertainment and Media 312 22nd May 2008 09:03 PM
Unbelievable kids :> AND dad's response :( G1969 Coming Out Advice 3 11th Nov 2007 05:04 PM
my dad's reaction Sam Coming Out Stories 7 8th Dec 2006 04:54 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:40 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright (c) 2004-2014, Empty Closets Community Services
the Empty Closets name and logo are registered trademarks of Empty Closets Community Services

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20