So I just told my mom... - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out

premiumheart · 21st Feb 2009, 11:17 PM

In my other thread, I said that I planned to tell my mom when I go back home in late March. But she caught me on YIM and began asking me why I was so bothered recently. And then I just said it. I laid it out and told her that I'm into guys, and that the liking girls part is still under careful consideration.

And she told me that she and dad had been expecting it, and that dad had told her "He's our son, we have to accept and love him". And that no matter what happens, I should ask God for guidance and that they'll support me if I end up this way or that way. And I feel really good that I finally told her about it.

I mean, that's not to say everything went very well. She said that being gay is not a sin, but the 'lifestyle' is, and that I should still try to love girls over guys. I understand that it'll take a while for her to really accept it wholeheartedly, but I'm willing to wait it out and help her in this. Besides, I'm not ready for a romantic relationship yet and I just want to revel in the fact that a big barrier between us has been broken down and that she'll be there for me.

It feels good.

limfjord96 · 21st Feb 2009, 11:24 PM

thats so awesome man, i wish my mom was smart enough to operate YIM...lol...i often wish my family would say something, or even notice that i have been miserable and depressed, but they dont say anything...congrats, and i dont know how religious you are, but as far as the lidestyle being a sin, i mean really? thats where ill leave it.

Bryan44 · 21st Feb 2009, 11:27 PM

Congrats man. It seems like your mom took it pretty well overall. I know you must feel awesome after telling her.

premiumheart · 22nd Feb 2009, 12:25 AM

I know. I still have to talk her through some of the details, but right now I'm really glad that she knows.

hiddendc4 · 22nd Feb 2009, 04:36 AM

congrats... and i agree with limfjord96 i wish my old man could operate technology since i had to show him hw to use his cell lol

**Filip** · 22nd Feb 2009, 06:12 AM

That's great news! Technology to the rescue yet again

It's good that it wasn't a shock to them. At least they are somewhere further along the coping process than some parents are.

My mother really seems to be getting into skype. Might be worthwile following your example...

EM68 · 22nd Feb 2009, 06:20 AM

Congrats I'm glad it went well.

premiumheart · 22nd Feb 2009, 06:36 AM

And to add to all this happiness, I just told my sister (two and a half years younger than me). I just logged off after a chat with her through YIM. And she was cool with it, too. I think I'm on a roll. I only really plan to come out to those I'm really close to (for now) and it's been great so far.

And thanks for all the happy messages, guys.

beckyg · 22nd Feb 2009, 08:10 AM

It sounds like your mom is open enough that she would be open to some reading. Try printing off some PFLAg materials for her:

http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=594&srcid=416

21st Feb 2009, 11:17 PM	#1
premiumheart Boy Next Door Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: I like guys. And maybe girls, too. Out Status: My parents, my sister, and a cousin... Location: Philippines Age: 23 Posts: 71 Join Date: Feb 2009	So I just told my mom... In my other thread, I said that I planned to tell my mom when I go back home in late March. But she caught me on YIM and began asking me why I was so bothered recently. And then I just said it. I laid it out and told her that I'm into guys, and that the liking girls part is still under careful consideration. And she told me that she and dad had been expecting it, and that dad had told her "He's our son, we have to accept and love him". And that no matter what happens, I should ask God for guidance and that they'll support me if I end up this way or that way. And I feel really good that I finally told her about it. I mean, that's not to say everything went very well. She said that being gay is not a sin, but the 'lifestyle' is, and that I should still try to love girls over guys. I understand that it'll take a while for her to really accept it wholeheartedly, but I'm willing to wait it out and help her in this. Besides, I'm not ready for a romantic relationship yet and I just want to revel in the fact that a big barrier between us has been broken down and that she'll be there for me. It feels good. __________________ "Beneath the million stars there's no need to pretend... I look around tonight and wonder why we can't end... The best kept secret..." ~Bare~

21st Feb 2009, 11:24 PM	#2
limfjord96 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pretty Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: San Diego Age: 31 Posts: 442 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: So I just told my mom... thats so awesome man, i wish my mom was smart enough to operate YIM...lol...i often wish my family would say something, or even notice that i have been miserable and depressed, but they dont say anything...congrats, and i dont know how religious you are, but as far as the lidestyle being a sin, i mean really? thats where ill leave it. __________________ Shake off this sadness, and recover your spirit, sluggish you will never see the wheel of fate that brushes your heel as it turns going by, the man who wants to live is the man in whom life is abundant. -Miguel De Una Muvico

21st Feb 2009, 11:27 PM	#3
Bryan44 Dork Full Member Gender: Male Location: Georgia Posts: 2,067 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: So I just told my mom... Congrats man. It seems like your mom took it pretty well overall. I know you must feel awesome after telling her.

22nd Feb 2009, 12:25 AM	#4
premiumheart Boy Next Door Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: I like guys. And maybe girls, too. Out Status: My parents, my sister, and a cousin... Location: Philippines Age: 23 Posts: 71 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: So I just told my mom... I know. I still have to talk her through some of the details, but right now I'm really glad that she knows. __________________ "Beneath the million stars there's no need to pretend... I look around tonight and wonder why we can't end... The best kept secret..." ~Bare~

22nd Feb 2009, 04:36 AM	#5
hiddendc4 Got Honda??? Full Member Gender: what's this funny looking thing between my legs? Orientation: Does it even really matter anymore? Out Status: Family: 1! Friends: 5(ish) Location: Sunny So. Cal. Posts: 312 Join Date: Jan 2009	Re: So I just told my mom... congrats... and i agree with limfjord96 i wish my old man could operate technology since i had to show him hw to use his cell lol

22nd Feb 2009, 06:12 AM	#6
Filip Cecile's sidekick EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but extended family Location: Belgium, EU Age: 29 Posts: 3,704 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: So I just told my mom... That's great news! Technology to the rescue yet again It's good that it wasn't a shock to them. At least they are somewhere further along the coping process than some parents are. My mother really seems to be getting into skype. Might be worthwile following your example...

22nd Feb 2009, 06:20 AM	#7
EM68 Happily Married! :) Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Stoughton, Massachusetts USA Age: 44 Posts: 4,327 Join Date: Jun 2008	Re: So I just told my mom... Congrats I'm glad it went well. __________________ I'm beautiful in my way, 'Cause God makes no mistakes I'm on the right track, baby I was Born This Way -Lady Gaga

22nd Feb 2009, 06:36 AM	#8
premiumheart Boy Next Door Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: I like guys. And maybe girls, too. Out Status: My parents, my sister, and a cousin... Location: Philippines Age: 23 Posts: 71 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: So I just told my mom... And to add to all this happiness, I just told my sister (two and a half years younger than me). I just logged off after a chat with her through YIM. And she was cool with it, too. I think I'm on a roll. I only really plan to come out to those I'm really close to (for now) and it's been great so far. And thanks for all the happy messages, guys. __________________ "Beneath the million stars there's no need to pretend... I look around tonight and wonder why we can't end... The best kept secret..." ~Bare~

22nd Feb 2009, 08:10 AM	#9
beckyg PFLAG Mom Community Liaison Gender: Female Orientation: Straight Out Status: Out to everyone/Yes, parents come out too! Location: Middle of Oregon Age: 51 Posts: 7,581 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: So I just told my mom... It sounds like your mom is open enough that she would be open to some reading. Try printing off some PFLAg materials for her: http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=594&srcid=416 __________________ "When we're free to love anyone we choose, When this worlds big enough for all different views, When we're all free to worship from our own kind of pew, Then we shall be free" ~ Garth Brooks

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