Currently feeling mixed emotions.. My mum was the last person I felt I needed to tell, and although I would have liked to have told her first it wasn't realistic for me because I was so nervous about it. It's finally done, and it taught me a lot. I knew she was accepting of LGBT+ people, so I expected that she would be more understanding than she came across. I've also now witnessed first hand the advice I've seen given plenty of times: "you've already accepted it but it's the first they're hearing of it, so they need time to process it and accept the reality of it". But the good news is I feel a weight lifted from my shoulders, and she seems tolerant and approving of it. I immediately told my boyfriend, something I slightly regret. He's closeted to his parents and feels it impossible to come out to them. We spoke over the phone about it because he wanted details, but I could tell that he was retreating into thoughts about how his parents might feel. I think I even heard him start to become tearful through his tone and some sniffling. And I know that within our relationship, there is the slightest element of competition. I think he feels lacking by not having come out to many people and slightly guilty that I'm now completely out of the closet and he's not. I feel like our relationship just underwent a big shift and it's causing some tremors. I sent him some texts to hopefully acknowledge the potential problems I see. I thanked him for being happy for me and being there for me. I told him not to come out only for me and that he should feel ready without me in the equation first; that I was sorry it was so much more difficult for him than me. I told him that I loved him and that I am here to be with him. Overall a positive experience because I feel liberated. But, although I knew through second hand experience and intuition, I now have the first hand experience of how these things cause tremors and shifts in relationships, because up until now it had been coming out to people who aren't monumental in my life. I'm doing my best to use my intuition to pacify the situation and help the dust settle. Bottom line: I'm happy and liberated! Time to change my 'out status' to everyone!
Hi there! Congratulations on having coming out to your mom. I'm happy for you that it went well, and that you feel you can be yourself around everyone now. While you might feel 'should have or could have come out this way' it doesn't really matter. I think the important things is, is that coming out to everyone who you feel needed to know is complete. We all go through different experiences when coming out, and more often than not, our intuition/instincts are going to be the guide. Well done.
