I *thought* I had "come out" to my mom. I had told her a few weeks ago that I had been dating a guy. And it was uncomfortable, but it went fairly well. Then a couple of nights ago, in a conversation with my mom, I tell her about what I think about homosexuality (that I don't believe it's "wrong," and that I have a different view of the Bible from her, etc.) and that I don't know what I want, and I'm okay with that. But either way, it's a part of me, big or small. She tried to leave before she started crying, but I knew. And then she broke down loudly... I am "deceived" and the only reason I don't feel conflicted with this decision is that "the devil thinks he's already won." "I'm terrified for your future." (And somehow I get the feeling she's more afraid of who I'm going to sleep with, all the things I might do that I've gone 'crazy' and "rebelling" against what I've been taught, and STD's and the like, rather than concern about acceptance, and how other people will handle it. *sigh*):dry: Also, I am welcome and "always have a place here" at home, but I cannot bring "this" in, I cannot "practice" in "this house." (WTF? Yes, Mom, I'm going to have sex with everyone I can. *sigh* That's not me. She should know I'm not going to do that.) Anyway lovely things to hear from your mom. I thought she knew more than she actually did, I guess. I expected this, but with certain things she had said, I had hoped for better. ("I don't want you to be something you think we would like, only for you to be unhappy because it isn't you.") Apparently this is an exception. Yeah, I'm disappointed. And hurt. And not a fan of living at home again, right now. Also not a fan of having the fundamentalist mother, and the "ex-gay" evangelical father.
Your father is an ex-gay? Why is she crying though? i don't get it...It's not like you are deformed or obscene. Nor are you a murdering terrorist or slapping her around the room.
I slapped the face of her ideology you could say. She believes homosexuality is wrong, "because the Bible says so." Yeah, he didn't go to an ex-gay group, or anything (thank God, I'd hate for him to try to send me to one). But yeah, he was. Supposedly. Though to him, it's not something he "was" it was something he "did." *shrugs* He's been trying to "reassure" me for years that I'm not gay.
Go to youtube and do some vids. Search for things like "The bible is disgusting" and you'll pop up factoids. There is PLENTY of ppl protesting it and you can build a solid case off it. Lol Do it and tell your mom. Make her jaw drop and submit.
My mom would not respond well to something she would perceive as an attack on her beliefs. Ha, anyway, ever see For The Bible Tells Me So? I wish I could get my mother to watch that...but she would see it as "warping the scriptures."
I saw "the bible tells me so"! I want to show that to my parents when i come out. I'm completely against hating religions but I'm totally for gradual religious change. I really hope they would react well to that movie.
Ah, us wonderful, confused, neurotic, god fearing PARENTS. Hope, I don't know what to say other than the advice I have given others on their parents. It is a coming out process for all of you, not just yourself. You have had years to process it, maybe they will take as long, maybe not. You can't attack her faith. It's part of her and she believes it and therein lies some of her turmoil. She has a son whom she loves very much and also a Lord that she is supposed to love more and she is torn, something like Abraham and Isaac. It's hard for a parent, especially when they live ignorant to the truth, and that is not her fault. This situation needs time and plenty of good ol' love. I know it sucks and you feel the target of your mom's frustration, but you're not. Try to be patient. She's throwing stupid do's and don'ts because she is scared and is losing her footing in raising her child and she feels blame and anger. Some is misdirected but none is meant for you. Be strong, I am running into more kids who have slammed into the RELIGION WALL in trying to talk to their folks than I ever thought possible. We WILL get you and your family thru this. Believe it and walk Proud. Go to my wall if you need a shoulder off forum and we can talk.......
Thanks stilsurchin. I don't expect my mother to change her beliefs. I've tried to be open, since I started questioning, (though that had come out as a 'something is wrong with me' confession). I'm Christian too, but I don't share her way of seeing things. It's hard to navigate this without it seeming or even me feeling like I'm attacking her faith. Because that's not what I want to do. *sigh* I know (and believe) that she loves me no matter what, and my dad too, just...I don't want to need to be what they want. I want to feel like they're proud of me, and to also respected enough as an (semi)adult to make my own decisions, and believe on my own faith. (And by that I know that also means I have to respect however they think about this, too.) Because, I love them too.
