I talked to a fem gay guy without cursing his existence and wishing a near apocolyptic demise for his mere sexuality. There were two gay guys, looked like a couple, that passed me as I was waiting for the bus. Omg, it was so good to see them. I stopped them asked if they knew of any gay clubs or organizations...sadly they told me bout a small ghetto gay bar. I'm not 21 though... But they were super friendly and I wasn't too bad. I felt like I came out of the closet or something, being able to talk to them. It was somewhat liberating and I felt like it was a step forward. Lol though my opening question to the fem was kinda lame. "Excuse me, are you gay?" No shit. Lol He was leaving flames in his wake. He was surprisingly normal. Though I was disappointed that flowers and rainbows, with a pot of gold hidden underneath, didn't sprout--I was all in all excited I didn't act homophobic. It's more of a reflex than a desire. I know it's not a real coming out or really comparable to some of yours but I did my best~
You'll find that as you become more comfortable with yourself, you notice the effeminity of guys a lot less- you begin to see them as people and not as flaming queens. I've learned to have a lot of respect for guys who just put it out there. It takes a lot of bravery to be who you are and not apologize for it. And there's a lesson in that for everyone.
Hey Enigma, well done man! I've followed many of your threads, and appreciated some of the issues you have. What you have just achieved is great. You've clearly been spending a fair amount of time thinking about your 'issues', and this pro-active move you made deserves full credit; and no less praise than anyone else here has had. Don't forget too, that the first move is always the hardest; and you've now got that one 'out of the way'. It's a rap!!!!!!!!!!
:roflmao: It's good to choose someone that is "obviously" gay to ask that question of, I suppose. As KB said, you'll slowly get more and more comfortable with yourself and the whole concept of being gay, and people's 'gayness' won't be as much an issue for you. I always really enjoy the fact that when I'm out in a gay bar or club, the type of people there are extremely varied. 'Flamers' and cross dressers to big bulky 'shaved head' kind of guys. And then there's me - a balding, middle aged accountant and father of 2. :icon_bigg Yet we're all there in that club because of the one thing we have in common - we're all gay. And we find comfort (and can therefore relax and be ourselves) by all getting together in a place like that. It's really quite cool once you are comfortable with the whole idea. It takes all kinds, and none of us are 'better' than someone else. So - it IS a first step for you. And that's great.
I love all kinds of gay people. Those who are not so obvious,and those who are! I love drag shows and you know how "queenie" they are! Diversity Rocks!
Enigma, that's awesome. I too have noticed your threads as you have been trying to deal with and learn about some of your feelings about the larger gay community. I like your "I did my best", so all I can say to that is good job and best wishes moving forward.
Well, it really is a sort of coming out. They didn't know you were gay, and you told them. What could be closer? And now you did at least see they weren't horrible people. Just people who are as they are (I used to hate them too, you know. But that was more for having achieved self-acceptance, something I was convinced I could never have. But I was proved wrong too, in the end).
