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A month ago wouldn't've dreamt it. But I came out to my sister today!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by matt716, Jul 5, 2016.

  1. matt716

    Regular Member

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    This is my third post here, and I am so happy to share this story with you, especially with those who are struggling to come out. I only joined this community a couple of days ago, and I only recently was able to come to terms with the fact that I am gay.

    I am from Chile, a country that has an awkward combination of liberalism and conservativism involving different issues. Over there being gay, although not illegal, is still frowned upon by many people, especially the older generations. Mum is very conservative, and she often shows signs of disgust whenever a gay couple is shown on TV. In fact, most of my relatives from mum's side are like that. They often make homophobic jokes without even thinking that someone might get hurt.

    During primary and secondary school I struggled a lot in terms of coming to terms with my sexual orientation, since I went to an all-boys school and there was no one in the same situation as mine. In the end, I buried the issue in the back of my head, and I never thought about it again until recently. Up until my late teens I was able to distract myself with studies, exams, getting into university, etc. Using anything as an excuse to avoid facing the issue.

    In 2009 we moved to Australia, and I was very happy to leave that homophobic hole of a country. Over here, however, I realised that the issue did not lie entirely on the Chilean culture. The issue lied within me: I brought the homophobic culture with me, and I often found myself trying really hard to become straight, crying myself to sleep and praying to God so that he could convert me. This obviously didn't work (it never does and never will SO DON'T TRY IT), so once again I went back to ignoring the issue altogether. However, ignoring it made me feel very trapped and lonely, and it really hurt to see all of my peers going on dates, having partners and happily living their youth to the fullest. I was on the verge of depression.

    One day, a couple of months ago, I woke and thought: "I can't do this to myself. I can't let my fears stop me from living my life. There's no way I'm gonna die a lonely virgin."

    After this realisation, I started to picture myself meeting someone, and that made me feel very happy and gave me a deep sense of hope. This is how I came to terms with my homosexuality. The next step was to join this forum, and the next step was... coming out.

    I started to think of whom I would come out to first. "It needs to be someone I know will take it in a positive and accepting manner," I thought. That someone was my sister. She is very sweet and caring, and she actively argues with mum whenever she makes homophobic comments. I gathered all of my courage, picked her up from Uni (as I usually do), and just as we pulled up to the driveway, I said "wait. I need to tell you something".

    My voice was shaking, my hands became numb and tingly and tears started coming out of my eyes. I asked her to give me a minute to pull myself together. She was crapping herself, thinking the worst (Mat must be dying! wait no, mum has cancer!). Once I was able to speak, I told her everything, including my struggles to come to terms with it, and all of my fears.

    That was the most liberating moment in my entire life. She was as accepting as I imagined she would be, and she actually felt honoured and grateful for being the first one to find out. She told me that she loves me, and I have never felt so close to her before.

    So that's my little coming out story. I still have to come out to my friends and family, but coming out to my sister has made it so much easier, and I am no longer scared. A huge load has been lifted from my chest.

    I really hope that whoever reads this finds someone that will be as understanding as my sister. It only takes a minute. Just one minute and then BAM! you're on the other side of the tunnel. And trust me, it's the greatest feeling ever.

    PS.: I really want to make friends through this forum, but I'm still a newbie, so I can't access the chat room or anything. How do I do it? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  2. peterw78165

    peterw78165 Guest

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    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Congratulations!

    To make friends, just go to the person's wall, and click "Befriend [user]" to send a friend request.
     
  3. matt716

    Regular Member

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    Thank you! I've befriended you :slight_smile:
     
  4. Guff

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    I really loved this story not just the 'coming out' but just about you. Wanted to say that you seem amazing and your sister is fabulous
     
  5. Morgan

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    How old is she compared to you