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Finally Came Out To Parents!!!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Kj802, Jul 7, 2016.

  1. Kj802

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    Hey Guys,
    Haven't posted in awhile! I have basically lost count of how many people I am out to. I'm probably sitting around the...14 or 15 people mark.
    Anyway my last post I believe was talking about coming out to my parents who are devoted Christians and to some degree homophobic. Anyway after talking about it over with you guys I decided to do it. Anyway I wrote a letter expressing my feelings and hidden identity. I went to bed, leaving the letter on their bed. I was awake till about midnight with anxiousness. When I woke up my parents in turn came in to my room and said something along the lines of 'I love you very much.' They told me later that day after school that they still loved me and although confused wanted to talk. Now I was excited and nervous for that talk. Excited to express my feelings finally and explain what is was like. Nervous to do that exact same thing. Anyway as it turns out it's about 4 months later and that talk hasn't happened. Honestly I'm not to bothered. They need time I understand. But yea it's been about 4 months since I came out to my parents and it's been alright. Between then and now two key incidents stand out to me. Firstly only about a month in and I was watching a video on YouTube of Calum Mcswiggan. A gay, cisgender, YouTuber. Anyway my mum saw me watching this. Now yes I am out to them. But I'm still wary of my parents reactions to things. For instance today I was watching another YouTuber who had like 15 ear piercings. Mum saw me watching and said, 'He's weird don't you think!'. So yea they still have their ways to come. Anyway when my mum found me watching Calum, I tried to tilt the screen away from her, this as I should've known, sparked her suspicion. She goes, 'are you watching gay stuff.' And I instinctively say, 'no' and she replies that she doesn't care if I do and that I don't have to hide.
    The second incident occurred only recently. Incident probably isn't the right word, however what happened is I went into my parents bedroom looking for a missing pair of socks, (My dad often messes up his and my socks. Anyway I went into his sock drawer and found a book called, 'The Bible, it's Doctrines and Homosexuality.' Or something along those lines. I read the back of the book. Basically it's about understanding the bible in order to resist the 'popular' trend of homosexuality and LGBT issues. And Yea.
    So overall I am doing well. But My parents definitely have their ways to go before they come around.
    Thanks for reading!
     
  2. TorBror

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    Congrats! I'm 100 % sure your parents will come around eventually! I have yet to tell my family, but it was a good idea to write a letter if you can't actually say the two words. What did you write in it?
     
  3. Kj802

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    Firstly, I Explained My sexuality and how they shouldn't be ashamed or distressed because I am this way. I stressed that it wasn't a choice nor was caused by situational factors. I told them who already knew, how long I knew. Those kind of things. I also stressed that they had no right to go telling others about my sexuality. Sounds harsh but in my situation it's a necessary. And then ended with how I love them and hope they can still do the same to me.

    And yea the letter was definitely my best mode of coming out. I just freeze up if I try to say it aloud. And I hope whenever you do tell your family, that it goes well! XD
    The last people I have to come out to before I come out openly are my younger siblings who happen to be twins. So yea don't know how that's gonna work. Hehe.
     
  4. Chip

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    Such an awesome story! Congratulations!

    IF it feels appropriate to do so, you might get them a copy of Matthew Vines' wonderful book "God and the Gay Christian." Vines is a brilliant biblical scholar who spent years looking at scripture and understanding a context that has been mostly overlooked. His views have changed the minds of many higher-ups at various churches and denominations, and his approach is thoughtful and nonjudgmental.

    I'm confident your parents will come around fully, but it sounds like they're doing a great job so far.
     
  5. TorBror

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    I wouldn't say it's harsh. They have to understand that this is a brave step of you, and that perhaps some limitations are in order. I'm thinking to write a letter myself, but I have to find out what I'm going to write in it, and what the best time to deliver it is. When did you deliver it?

    Yeah, there's something about saying it that seems so much harder! Thank you so much, it's sweet with support! I'm sure your siblings will be fine with it.
     
  6. Kj802

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    I have actually seen his long YouTube video. I haven't gotten round to purchasing it yet. But it's definitely something I'm looking to do. Thanks.

    ---------- Post added 8th Jul 2016 at 09:00 AM ----------

    That's true.
    I put it on their bed right before I went to bed myself. As to make sure my siblings didn't find it. Also I understand that their may be a desire to hand write to authenticate it. But in the least offensive way possible, if your handwriting is not neat, type and print it. Is say this for the sake of clarity. If your parents can't read what you have written, there is a chance they'll come and ask, and for me I was trying to avoid that by writing the letter.
     
  7. TorBror

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    Ah, but then I would be terrified, and won't sleep that night. Perhaps I could put it on the breakfast table before I'm going off to the school in the morning (my sister isn't living here at the moment, so that will be fine). Yeah, I was going to ask you about that as well. I don't consider my handwriting to be ugly, but I think I'll be typing it just to make sure.

    Thank you so much for your advice! (*hug*) It's been really good to talk to someone about it.
     
    #7 TorBror, Jul 8, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2016
  8. Kj802

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    It was a bit nerve racking but personally it was better than talking face to face.

    Hey, not a problem glad I could help.
    I really do hope it goes well. I'm happy to help whenever!
    XD
     
  9. TorBror

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    I will probably send you a message if I need any help. Is that OK? x))
     
  10. Kj802

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    Yea! That's absolutely Fine. Happy to talk. The fact that your profile pic is Alec is also amazing may I just say.
     
  11. TorBror

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    Oh, so you know of him?! :wink:
     
  12. Kj802

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    Just the best character/Actor/everything ever.
     
  13. TorBror

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    100 % agree.