well, I've never really talked to anyone about this before and it is on my mind a lot, so I thought I should make a thread about it. Basically, a few years ago, when I was but a young thing (12 or 13) and I first seriously started to question my sexuality I made the stupid mistake of telling my friend. He then proceeded to tell his friends and it all sort of snowballed. It's funny though because, although I hated him for it at the time, and because of him I endured some pretty serious bullying for over a year, we seem to be becoming friends again now. I don't really know what happened there . Obviously you can never have to many friends, something I learned at a time when I pretty much had none, but it just seems a bit weird. I know people change a lot between the age of 12 and the age of 15 and I have forgiven him but... I don't know. Really I'm just pissed off that I made to feel like dirt because of what I am for over a year and it just feels unjust, even though it's over now and now that my year has grown up a bit, I'm accepted and have a fair few good friends it just feels odd talking to people who used to bully me and I feel that I can't really be friends with them because of how they treated me before. Most of my close friends either moved to my school recently or never bullied me before, but I don't know... I just have a really hard time trusting anyone these days, after I entrusted my sexuality to someone who I shouldn't have, who pretty much ruined my life. Today's been an odd day, I guess I'm just losing it a bit...
hmmm its unfortunate you told an unreliable person but i suppose people when they are younger are more immature, more childish as you said in a way it was good and its good that you are not being bullied now but you obviously will feel some sort of dislike for the people who bullied you and the person who spilt your secret i wouldn't say it has ruined your life because it help you in a way, yet didn't in others all in all, you will get through this, don't dwell on it and life has so much in store for you
I kinda know what you went through. A few years ago a male friend of mine stayed the night at my house while both of our parents went out for an evening of fun, dinner and who knows what. We helped our selves to a bottle of wine, and you can probably guess what happened after that. Needless to say, I was not expecting him to blab about what had happend between us, but he did. The next day I saw a mutual friend of ours at one of the local shopping malls and I said "hi" to him, but he had obviously talked to my "buddy" because the first thing he said to me was "I don't want to know you ...you fag" The good thing that's happend since then, is all the rest of my friends now know and have no problem with me. They occasionally make a joke or two about the fact that I like guy's, but they did accept who I am, and I know what they say is in fun. (I think some of them are jealous :lol
Have you talked with him about it? I mean recently, not when you were 12. Since you've both grown up and matured some, you probably need to let him know that it still bothers you. Do you want an apology, and his true understanding of how his action made your life hell? If you feel you need that, then you need to get it, otherwise there will probably always be this uncomfortableness.
I don't have a problem with the guy who did it these days, he honestly has changed a lot in the past three years, and I accept that he was just a stupid little boy at the time. I've forgiven him. I was having a bit of a weird day yesterday, and I couldn't stop thinking about the injustice of what happened. It made me angry, but it's far too late to do anything, I just wanted to share really. To tell some people who would actually understand. I know that it's only school and I leave for good in a little over a year and probably won't see anyone except a few ever again; certainly not on a day to day basis. I also worry that I have made a terrible example for anyone else who would have been planning on coming out, if they saw how badly I was treated for it, it might have caused them to not want to be what they are; to not accept themselves, and that makes me feel guilty. I feel like through some ridiculous chain of events, it would be my fault if someone else suppressed their own sexuality because of me. I go to a school of 850 people, I am the only openly homosexual person I know of. There are two bisexual people I know, neither of which are public about their sexuality (one more than the other).
