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Becoming Myself

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by SailingKoala, Mar 15, 2009.

  1. SailingKoala

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    First of all apologies this will probably be a long read.

    I have just started the coming out/ self acceptance process at the age of 30. Having read other similar posts here I felt i needed to share a little.
    I suppose I have always known I didn't do girls - Reading and watching Gay porn being a big give away:lol: But like most, a Catholic up bringing and strict family tells you that straight is the only way. So I have just ignored my needs and shut out my feelings - so much so that I became my work and now after over 10 years of working. I left my job and was forced to return to the family home - not the best way to start a journey of self realisation! But, now I find myself feeling like I have just began Life. It has taken me months of questioning and opening myself up to feel again to realise that what i had been doing wasn't living. So I have given myself a rebirth as it were and recently come out to my closest 2 friends. My first approach to coming out was to post on facebook a comment like "If I was to announce something what do you think it would be" , Friends responded but no one mentioned my sexuality which in someways I was happy with and others I felt disappointed. Anyway this lead to my best mates chatting with me online and slowly one of them started to suggest that he already new - was going for a job in brighton at the time and he went "well maybe that would be a good move" Anyway in the end I arranged to call him the next day - rehearsed what I was gonna say and made sure I was at the most comfortable place I could be. Even then when it came to telling him it didn't go as rehearsed. we spent 20 minutes talking shit before I just went silent and then blurted out I'm Gay - his comment was Am I meant to be suprised.... That was both the hardest moment and Biggest relief and release of pressure ever. Since then i have felt alot happy with myself as I have someone to talk too. My 2nd friend was done via internet chat and he again has been very supportive. I know I will have to hide myself around my family and it makes it hard even at 30 years old. So my advice from my little experience, is make sure you have support around you and Don't feel you have to tell everyone - its not there business. My hardest time was when I was alone with myself and my feelings, now I have friends and people to talk too, which helps. I hope I make sense I seem to babel on a bit.:slight_smile:
     
  2. olides84

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    Congrats on your coming out (!) Your friends sound great!
     
  3. SailingKoala

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    Cheers, they are, just wish I was nearer to them again -although 1 is back in a month. Still somethings can along be expressed face to face.
     
  4. Mirko

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    Congratulations on starting the coming out process! Glad that your first two experiences went so well. :slight_smile:

    And...welcome to EC!
     
  5. Guffawz

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    Congratulations! Your story is really inspiring to me. I'm almost 26, so I feel like I've spent too many years hiding things and not having anyone to talk to about any of this...it's nice to know that just telling a couple of friends has helped you open up.
     
  6. SailingKoala

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    Cheers for the support guys, Although I feel much happier about myself now I have friends to confide in. I still see a lot of mountains still to climb. I know I have to be patient with myself and things will happen, but that is hard to do after hiding from oneself for so long I just wanna jump and embrace my true self