Mondays are usually the worst for dad. Every time he comes back at work on Monday, he's usually grouchy, almost angry at everyone, and known to yell at the even the slightest annoyance from my big sister and I. Mondays are the worst for him, yet I don't exactly know why I chose that day to come out. I heard stories of coming out. I'm afraid of getting kicked out, and if not, being called fasiq or a Western perversion. In fact, for some time I thought of myself as fasiq. It's been shoved at me that homosexuality was a sin or at least the actions of it. Granted, I never really learnt or heard anything from my local imam about that particular topic, but I heard stories from the internet of the horrors of coming out. But I know I needed to come out. I want to. I just finished by GCSE. I got mostly As and Bs, so now I'm heading off to college, now, and try to reach for those A levels. In other words, I'm growing up. I need to do this now and come out. And I did, one Monday night, as Dad comes out of work. He was tired, said he had a flat tyre and had to fix it so now the bills are piling up. As he's talking about money and problems at work, I somehow grew some courage to him and casually-- somehow casually say I'm a homosexual. He literally just asked me how was school and I just went all out and said, "I met a guy." In such a state of shock, he just stares at me, probably wondering some religious prejudice at me, or at least I thought so in my head. I tried making out words for him to say. Will he hate me? Say I'm fasiq? A perversion? All of those things were going out in my head, I couldn't really imagine what was happening. He never talked to me that night. I got up, cleaned the dishes, and said my good-nights to myself, but he never spoke one single word that night. The next day, he acted like I never said that, but I knew deep down, he was still harbouring his possible hate to me. He avoided the subject, sometimes even avoiding me on occasions. Is there... is there anything I could do? Is there anything I could do to help my dad to talk about this? To talk about me still being his son? To talk about my sexuality and that I'm still me? I don't know what to do. Please, someone, what should I do for this situation?
Congratulations you have come out. Give yourself credit for being brave. Sometimes people ignore thing that are difficult to deal with. This might be what you're dad might be doing. From the little I know about Islam, not all imams are anti gay. I came across this article that might help you. Islam and Homosexuality: Building Bridges - theoutmost.com - Gay Ireland News & Entertainmenttheoutmost.comYou might also find it helpful to contact your local LGBT support group. I'm certain that there are other young Muslim guys living locally in your position. Talking with people who have the same problems can be very helpful. (*hug*)
Congratulations on coming out! I wouldn't read too much into the situation yet, if I were you. It takes some people a while to get their heads around it when you come out to them. A friend's Dad didn't talk to him for a week. It wasn't a 'disowning' silence in my friend's case. His Dad just had to wrap his head around the idea of his son being gay. After a week, they sat down and had a heart-to-heart talk (which his Dad initiated) and things turned out o.k. In your case, your Dad is probably also trying to reconcile his religious beliefs and upbringing with his (hopefully) unconditional love for you. If you press him too early - before he can come to terms with it in his own mind - you might make things worse.
