Closet Purists

I wouldn't worry too much about your "closet status". Telling people is HARD. Be proud that you have already told one person...regardless of where she lives or how often you see her. Telling that first person is a HUGE step!!

 

I think they overlap in an extreme way.
You're in the closet if there's people that don't know.
You're out if there's people that do know.
Know what I mean?
... I hope so.

 

Aren't you kind of always in the closet though? I mean you meet new people all throughout your life and usually they don't instinctively know.

 

my out status says it all im so far in the closet ive tunneled to narnia and back

 

Straight up.
But for real, the hardest person to tell is the first. After that it just seems so easy? But I'd agree with Midnight Angel, we always have new people to come out to.

 

I don't think there really is a straight-forward definition for it, but to me, you're in if you're purposely hiding it from people. If you're willing to tell people who wants to know, then you're out. To me, at least.

 

Your out status is something that you decide for yourself. Pretty much you'll know when you are there.

I consider my self out. Everyone I have contact with on a regular basis, except my parents know. I plan to tell them on the next visit home. I haven't told any of my extended family and don't really have a plan too. I just don't see a need for it, I don't see them that often. I figure word will get around, and if nothing else they will figure it out when I bring a boyfriend with me.

New people I met don't know that I am gay, but the difference is that I am not pretending to be straight anymore. So they will always know the gay me and eventually they will find out, but I'm not hiding anything.

 

I think, as you said, that be open with yourself is certainly most important. But from there, I feel like your "closet status" is determined by which ppl know, not necessarily by how many. It depends on those "closest" ppl, the ones who's opinions are most important. Like, my closest friends all know, but I still don't consider that I'm out b/c my family doesn't know... if that makes any sense.

Idk, at the end of the day you should tell who you want... your "status" is unimportant.

 

Aahh this is a good point.

I would say out of the closet is were everyone knows.
but even then my grandad doesn't know, but that's for more of my safety.

I think to be out, you can be yourself to the majority.
And the only reason people do not know, is becuase they havn't heard
or you have secific reason not to tell him.

To be in the closet.
You can have a few friends, but they're really in the closet with you.

 

I'd call someone closeted if they're making an effort to hide their sexuality, and will avoid the topic or lie (which is understandable). I think there are as many definitions as there are people, though.

 

You can no doubt still be a closet case after coming out to people, I mean look, I have told two people, yet don't consider myself to be out whatsoever. I personally, don't hide who I am, it is just that I CAN'T share that part of me...at least not for about a year from now. I think when I can walk up to a stranger and announce that I am gay that I will truly be out of the closet.

 

For me, the difference between closeted and out is just comfort level. For me, "out" is not when everyone knows, there is ALWAYS someone who doesn't know, that is impossible to achieve, but when you are at a point where, if someone were to ask you "are you gay" (as long as you're not scarred for your life or well being) and you feel comfortable enough to reply truthfully.

Everyone's deffinition of out is different, don't worry about being out or not, it really doesn't matter that much.