So if you look through my post history, you have got to be wondering why I came out. After all just look at my "Ladies, Gentlemen, and everyone in between" posts, telling the insanity in my homophobic family. Well ex-homophobic family, anyway. More on that in a bit. I came out because if many things, and many long standing reasons, so I will just tell the events that led up to today. Fasten your seatbelts, hold on to your hats, and keep all body parts in the ride at all times, cause this is going to be a doozy. I have always known something was up with my sexuality (although I didn't know it was called that at the time). I had a crush on my (backstabbing, manipulative, POS) female friend in elementary school. I thought boys were gross, and I couldn't wrap my head around why any girl would marry one, after all, I liked girls. This was around the time "gay" became an insult to anyone who hadn't had a crush on a boy/girl yet. This also marked my first "fake crush". You are gonna see these become a theme. I pretended I had a crush on E (side note, all names will be represented by the first letter of their name for privacy). I practiced being too scared to talk to him. I taught myself to blush on command. But I always knew I truly liked girls. A year later I got the "gays will molest me" talk. I asked my mom and dad if they had even met any gay people, and they said no, but their parents taught them that they would molest them. I was confused, but I chalked it up to adults being better and more smart then me, and bought it. That brings me to 5th grade. That was the year everyone went to shit. First off, mom got cancer (beat it no problem, also it was only stage 2). Then they divorced. Then, a few months later, she announced that because she no longer felt safe raising us (me and sis) here, we were packing our bags and moving to Clayton, NC. I assumed it had to do with the kidnappings in Cary, but now I know it was because of the gay couple who moved in across from our old house. We moved in, and call it karma, call it just dumb freaking luck, a lesbian couple moved into our new neighborhood. She didn't like them. So middle school began and more fake crushes happened, along with many real ones. My moms views would soon change, however. You see, I'm both nearly deaf and nearly blind. So one day, our substitute bus driver made an error when dropping me off. So he, accidentally, dropped me off near a busy street. I got out, unaware I had even moved. I was about to (accidentally) walk into traffic, when Mrs. Judy and Mrs. Megan saved me. So my mom got kinda confused. She'd been told gays were monsters, but a monster wouldn't have saved me, right? I think that was when her views changed. I was still firmly in the closet, but I began to talk to Mrs Judy and Mrs Megan about being gay. And then my mom got me a counselor. I told her, and we began to work on a plan. Which leads me to now. "Mom, dad, I need to tell you something. I'm gay" "You are too young to know." That was all they said. They kept repeating it on loop. Even when I said Mrs. Megan had come out at 10. They just wouldn't see that I had ALWAYS known. I think they are in denial. They forced me to keep my mouth shut and not tell anyone else. I'm ok with that. For now. At least I'm not typing from a homeless shelter. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I'm just happy to have today.
First such COURAGE Sith Knight! (As a would-be Jedi, I can still empathize and support, can't I?) SO, things went well with the neutrals in your life, but when it came to your parents, they are simply non-believers, eh? Sorry to say, but they need to be educated that not only CAN you know your sexuality at your age, based on you postings, you seem very comfortable with your understanding of your sexuality. From what you wrote, you r parents seem to be homophobic, the comments that you wrote about seem to mostly be out of ignorance instead of actual, direct prejudice. (And it's amazing sometimes how individuals' viewpoints on homophobia can change when they personally know someone - especially a child - who is homosexual. As opposed to just demonizing 'those people' whom they don't actually know.) Of course, things could have gone worse, but a denial response that places their concerns/fears/unwillingness to accept back on you is far from optimal. I'm very sorry that they didn't take you at your word. Clearly, they don't understand just how emotionally traumatic it was for you to bare such a personal and private part of yourself to them in the first place. Please don't feel bad or unfairly treated by your parents because of their response so far. They just don't understand. None of this pre-determines their reactions when they finally DO understand that you really know and are comfortable with who you are. So, I would simply advise that you keep your positive attitude and your insistence in telling your parents about who you are as often as you think necessary. All the while being the true, honest, awesome person that you are! Then, when it finally sinks in to them, you can just say 'duh, that's exactly what I've been telling you all along if you'd just REALLY listened to me...' (Of course, not saying that accusingly, just matter of factly.) I hope some of this helps or at least add some clarity to your thoughts... Best of luck
It is terrible that they reacted that way, to be honest. I think that it would be best to explain to them how exactly you've been feeling for the past years and that you know who you are and that they should accept that. If they end up kicking you out or treating you terribly, look up nearby homeless shelters or LGBT safe places, and make sure that you get whatever help you can. If worse comes to worse, you can even call 911 and get help from them, especially if they abuse you because who you are. I hope that this doesn't happen and that everything will work itself out. Good luck on this crazy journey called life! (&&&)
Kudos for being so brave. Coming out is a lifelong process, at least for me. Never stop growing, no matter how hard it seems sometimes. Btw, I like what you put as your location: Coruscant - nice!
