Yesterday my parents basically forced me go come out. They wouldn't let me go to bed until I told them what was wrong and I still wouldn't so my dad just started guessing and that was the first thing he said and I started crying so at that point I couldn't try to pretend anymore. They talked to me about it for like 3 hours. Most of it consisted of my dad telling me how he believes that through the power of God I can "overcome this trial in my life" :bang: Basically he wants to pray the gay away. His hopes for me, as he puts it, are that I can stop feeling this way and maybe even find a guy to marry. He even told me he'd rather me be alone my entire life than be with a woman. I agreed to seeing a therapist from our church who has worked with gay LDS teens and apparently helped them overcome it. I only agreed because if I didn't things wouldn't have gone so well for me. My mom didn't say much at all. The only thing she really did say was that she'd rather have me be happy than dead. She's really worried about me killing myself and it's almost gotten to that point lately. Today during school I got a text from my mom that informed me I had an appointment with my therapist right after school. I went and i hate it. The guy smiles too much. I could be talking about how I would rather be dead than deal with disappointing my parents and he looks like he might laugh at any second. I just don't know how I feel about this. It feel like it's not real, like I'm in a nightmare or something. I feel exposed and vulnerable because the secret I've been keeping for so long is out there now. Mostly I feel lost. I don't know what to do now. Any advice?
Coming out is hard enough to do without being forced. Stay strong. I think that it is so sad that people still believe in conversion therapy. It is banned in the province where I live for a reason. As hard as the situation is (I can only imagine) you have to stay positive and true to yourself. Hopefully with time they will see tat what they are doing isn't helping you and will realize there is nothing wrong with you. I'm here to support you-- as I know we all are <3
I'm so sorry this happened to you Why would a parent act so selfishly? Being gay is not something to be cured... Do you have the possibility to seek out for LGBT+ groups in your area? Or to talk to some friends? Also, I would suggest lying to this therapyst... don't tell him how you really feel, but protect yourself saying what he wants too... You could try to make him (and your family) believe that the "therapy" worked, at least to get some relief in the short time. So you wouldn't be forced to see him anymore :icon_sad: You also have this forum; you can get support here, and feel free to message me if you think that could help ^_^
I really feel for you. Please try to stay true to who you are. It will be difficult. If it means lying to the "therapist" and your family, until you can live life on your terms, that what you may have to do. As a young man I went to therapy to 'change my sexuality'. As a result I suffered from chronic depression for about 25 years. (I'm happy and un-closeted now) You will have this family on EC to support you through the tough times. (*hug*)
Thanks for the support from everyone I'm going to go along with what they say for a little bit until things calm down. I'll be able to drive soon so I will have more freedom and not have to rely on them so much. Hopefully things will settle soon so I can get back to normal.
This is just shitty. Please do not resort to suicide. I always use the motto this too shall pass, but the popular one in our culture seems to be, "it gets better" Im not going to pretend I have any advice right now, but I want to make sure you know that you have support here. If you ever just want someone to talk to about your problems, or someone to distract you (sadly all I got up my sleeves is physics and math) feel FREE to message me. Really. I am very easy to talk to, very open minded/accepting. I just dont want to keep reading about LGBT suicides. Please if it gets that bad again seek help. Anywhere. I am more than willing to talk and show support. There are also hotlines if you dont have internet or dont want to talk to me lol... Seriously. PLEASE do not hesitate to come here and seek help if things get that bad/low again. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.