Almost a year ago...

I came out Wednesday, April 9 2008 to my mom. It was the scariest moment of my life, and it was a great moment in my life. I'm not out to many other people, and the ones to whom I am out are pretty surprised. I'm just a guy, you would never think I was gay if you met me IRL. People get so hung up on stereotypes that they don't realize that gays and lesbians and bisexuals and all of us are normal people, like everyone else. Well, with the small little thing about liking the same sex and all

So, here's my story; in chronological order because it's easy like that:

Monday April 7 2008 -- We go out-of-state for the funeral of a loved one. During said funeral, I realize how short life is. As the priest was talking to us, I dwelt upon how short life is and the fact that I was living a lie. I decided then that I needed to come out sooner rather than later.


Tuesday April 8 2008 -- I didn't go to school because we got in very late (4AM Tuesday morning, to be exact). I talked to my best friend that night in IM and one thing led to another. I mentioned some things that sounded a little strange (about someone I had a crush on, but I didn't use any pronouns on purpose), and he asked me flat out if I was straight, gay or bi. I didn't see the use in holding it in anymore, and I told him that I was gay. We talked about everything that night, and I credit him for coming out. Had we not had that conversation, I would probably still be in the closet.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008 -- I was nervous all day in school. My mom had taken the day off. I came home from school and tried to figure out the perfect moment. My mom started dinner (my favorite...meatloaf, au gratin taters & green beans) at 530. I decided enough was enough with the nervousness and lying and everything, and I followed her out to the kitchen. Well, the stupid kid neighbor decided to go in the woods and play with his bow and arrow. This worried mom and she was standing at the window obsessed over it for 10 minutes. I thought to my self out loud: "Darn you kid, go away so I can get this over with." She said "what?" I said that "I'd better just get this over with."

I took a deep breath, and here is how the conversation went:

Me: "There's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time."
*long pause* "I'm gay."

Her: Huh?

Me: (about to pass out at this point) I'm gay. I've been gay forever and it's nothing you did or I did and it's just the way it is and oh my God I can't believe I just told you that that was the biggest secret I've ever had and nobody knows until now oh my God.

Her: (Says nothing and just kisses me on the nose) *really long pause* "Did you meet somebody?"

Me: (really really about to pass out at this point) No. I just wanted to tell you.

Her: But why? Did you meet somebody?

Me: No...I was just tired of lying. I am not attracted to girls whatsoever or anything. I've known that I was gay for a long, long time. I felt like I was lying to you about myself and I need to stop, it's unhealthy.

After that, not much was said the rest of the night. We ate dinner and I went to bed shortly thereafter. The day after (Thursday) I went to my guidance counselor at school. I told her that I came out to my mom the night before. I told her that I just wanted to come to her in case my mom had a delayed reaction and reacted adversely to my coming out. She said that if she was going to react adversely, she would have done it when I came out, so that was a relief.

A few days went by without a word being mentioned. On Friday (I think) she struck up this conversation:

Her: Sweetie? When you said that you weren't attracted to girls...does that mean that you're attracted to.................guys?

Me: Yes. I'm the definition of gay *I smile a little bit*

Her: Okay.

And that was the end of that. There have been a few brief mentions of it since then, but it's a non-issue. I am who I am, and no amount of conversation can change it, and she accepts me for that.

Next task: The rest of my family. I think that can wait a while...