i have this friend, who is one of my best friends and i have known him a long time. i really want to come out to him, i've been trying to for month's (it was a new year resolution), but i just can't seem to. i get paranoid and freak out thinking he'll tell everyone else. please, i need some advice because i just can't deal with this anymore, i'm either telling him or not.:icon_sad::bang:
Hi there! Being afraid that others will tell is a normal part of our first coming out, because we are trying to let go of something that has been within us for a long time. You mentioned a couple of important points: he's your best friend, and you two have known each other for a long time. The question you have to ask yourself is: "Do I trust him enough at this point?" If you trust him, and you have told him things about yourself before and it hasn't gone any further, then I would say, he would be someone you can trust. The next question you have to ask yourself, "am I comfortable with coming out to him." If the answer is yes, and you feel okay, I'd say give it a try. But it is really up to you. If you decide to come out to him, then maybe ask him to meet up with you at a place where you feel comfortable, either at school or outside of school and take it from there. Remember though that the first coming out will always be the most difficult one, because we are letting go of something that we have not shared with anybody else before. It is normal to feel nervous. If you can trust him, you feel comfortable, and more importantly ready to take that step, then give it a try. Hope this helps a bit!
you have many other good friends and this one is your best friend as well,but he doesn't know but your other friends do right? it sounds like this best friend is more than a friend you have a crush on him as well,thats why you really feel nervous,like it was said by ASTEROID if you really trust him,tell him in a more controlled enviroment,if he is ok with it,then you could approach him later,of course you don't want to over load his senses,remember his are not as open as ours are,right. good luck with that.
it depends on how much you trust your friend would he tell everyone or if you asked him not too would he keep it to himself. is he the type of person to understand and care that you had the strenghth and belief in your relationship to come out to him i know the paranoia when facing a friend you care so much for fearing they will not understand you and youll lose them thats whats stopping me the fear of loseing him are you afraid of loseing him or that you will be outed if hes a friend he wont. what are his views on gay people? also ive come to understand something hideing who you are from people lieing to them or beeing someone your not makes a mockery and a lie of your friendship thats why you should decide to tell him or not is if hes really a friend he should know the truth about you and if hes really your friend he will understand take care i hope it works out for you x
i;m sorry to imply you have in the pat,i just read into it alittle more deeper than i should have,i'm no expert, just sharing my thoughts and don't mean to offend anyone,you wil find the right time to come out ,make it on your own terms with no outside pressure its your life your decision to make,we are here for our own help and to advise others with our own experience,after all it took me 46 years i applaud you for knowing yourself sooner, i wish i had your guts earlier in life,wish you the very best my kindred spirit,the very best.
thanks, and it's ok, i didn't speak clearly. and thanks for the advice, i'm trying to work up the courage
Hi there! First ones are always the toughest ones, but it will get easier after that. Sometimes, it is just a matter of taking the plunge as it were. If you have been planning since February to tell him and haven't been able to do so yet, maybe ask yourself if you are ready to come out at this point. If you feel that you are not comfortable or ready at this point, no worries. With time you will be able to come out. Do you trust him? Would he be supportive and accepting? If the answers are yes, I don't think you have to lose anything by coming out to him. Maybe try this: Stand in front of a mirror, and say out loud, 'I'm gay and I am going to come out to my friend." See how this make you feel. If you feel good about it, and you don't have any awkward feelings, try telling yourself "I can do it," because you can do it. Believe in yourself! When you do decide that you are ready, take him aside, maybe invite him to a coffee shop or go for a walk with him, and start letting him know why you wanted to talk with him. Maybe what might help, write all your thought out. Sometimes, writing it all out and organizing our thoughts can help in gaining some confidence. Hope this helps a bit!
it does, see its not that i'm afraid i don't trust him, i'm just one of those people who gets paranoid and thinks something bad might happen, so i'm trying to get over that but the advice does help, i'll try out some of those prep and thanks again
i love all of your guys's advice, but i still can't bring up the courage to tell him, to at least come out to someone, god this is sooooo hard!!!!!!!:tears:
yes its hard because you make it hard no-one says you have to come out to him ,perhaps say something about knowing a friend that came out,and look for his reaction,if he says that wouldn't bother him,then give him another example that what if you were gay,how would he feel about that,its a what if ,statement that might make it easier,but truely time will come when you feel deep inside your ready to come out,or perhaps you never really need to come out,but if you really think about it,you already came out to all of us,and we all accept you with open arms,perhaps that thought will ease your pain, you could approach him that you joined a support group that really has accepted you for your true self,perhaps thats the openning you need to say,but truthfully be yourself and be true to yourself,only you can feel comfortable on whats right and wrong,you do whats right when the time feels right for you,wish you all the best " GKACARL IS GAY !!!" there now the world knows,now have fun my friend!!.
