I came out to my mom as a gay man today.

Hi everyone,

I just came out to my mom. It still feels surreal-- it was like an hour ago. I feel like I need to share it because I feel a little overwhelmed.
Anyway, we were having a conversation and I was telling her things like "you wouldn't understand...", "some day you might understand where I'm coming from, when you know everything" which would make anyone guess I'm gay.
But she didn't guess it and I had to verbally say it after she kept pushing me to. It's not like I prepared for it, but I just thought it was the right moment and it was too late to avoid it. I wasn't really sure until I said the words, which felt weird. Anyway, I did and she took it very well. At first she was a little shocked, and asked how I knew, how I could be sure, and I was just very straightforward with my answers even though it was difficult telling her I'm physically attracted to men and not women. And then she was very supportive and I guess even relieved that I told her. We had a long talk, but it was very positive.

I'm 19, and live with my single mom. That might make it a little easier to come out (being a single mom and divorced probably made her a little more willing to accept "alternative lifestyles", but in many cases it's probably not like that). She's divorced but my dad is out of the picture. However, my larger family (uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, etc.) are SUPER conservative and homophobic evangelical christians, and very close to my mom, so I was always afraid that maybe she would have a lot of trouble dealing with it because she's very influenced by them.
I consider myself very lucky. I'm really happy that she reacted so well. I feel a little vulnerable after telling her--I'm not sure how the following days, weeks, months are going to play out. She asked me how she could help me, and I just told her to be accepting of it and not to use it against me, which is basically my biggest fear. And she thanked me for telling her.
I really "prepped" her for it, though. And I guess I'd like to give others advice on how they can prepare their parents or anyone you'd like to come out to.
In some cases it might feel completely risky to come out. I feel that way about my extended family--they spend a lot of time talking crap about homosexuality and really believe in the "LGBT conspiracy" stories. If my mom was like that, I probably wouldn't have come out unless I had a good reason to and didn't depend on her financially. I'm just sure they won't accept it and I don't even want to bother facing that awkward/horrible situation.
I prepped her by talking her about it. Giving her facts, sharing stories about others, etc. She was kind of naive (or maybe just in denial) and never asked if I was telling her all that because I was gay. I wasn't very subtle.
I also showed her a movie, "For the Bible Tells me So", which does a pretty good job showing the struggles I think might be pretty common among gay people and convincing religious people that just because you're christian doesn't mean you can't accept LGBT people. AndI I always challenged her when she would say homophobic stuff. I also pointed out the science of sexuality a lot. Both in biology terms, and in social terms.
So from my experience, I can give you this advice:
*Test the people you want to come out to in a subtle way. See how they react to a gay scene in a movie. Or talk about the Orlando shooting or some other event (gay marriage, the trans bathroom thing in NC, etc). Or in some way try to find out what they think about LGBT people without necessarily asking. If they're completely hostile, maybe you should wait until you're no longer dependent on them. Really evaluate your situation.
*"Prep" them, also in a subtle way. This might be a little difficult. Give them information about it. Try to showcase gay people in a positive light and in a way that reflects what we go through. Maybe you can have a conversation about religion and touch the subject briefly. Always beware they might notice/suspect you're gay since you bring it up, when having a conversation about the subject. So be prepared to confidently answer "no, of course" if they ask you if you're gay and you're not ready to come out. You can always take it back later when you're truly ready and have an excuse for your interest (maybe you can say there's a gay kid in your school, or you're reading a book with gay characters (look one up) or something like that).
*Know what to say, and how to say it. How to react to several possible situations after you see how they react. They might not understand what you really mean when you say I'm gay, I'm trans, etc. Try to use words that aren't very hard (like sex). Tell them how hard it's been for you to keep it secret and feel bad about it. Let them know it's only a detail about you, and that who you are as a person (your "essence") remains unchanged. Come up with an excuse in case you instantly regret it (something like you just wanted attention, or are confused but obviously wouldn't have that lifestyle). It might sound horrible and it is painful, but it might be the only way to not be kicked out of your home. I don't recommend coming out if you think that's a possible scenario, but even if you don't think it is, there's always the uncertainty that they might react really badly. I thought about that and what I would do a lot.
*If they react positively (or at least neutrally), let them know it's not their fault. Let them know all kinds of children are gay, from every religion, every type of household, etc. And let them know your best chance at happiness is accepting yourself and being honest with the people you love. Let them know you're relieved and nothing is going to change abruptly. You're still the same person, etc. Sometimes parents are more sad because you're not going to have the life they wanted for you, or that life is going to be super difficult for you, than they are mad at you for being gay. Let them know being happy is not an impediment to being happy or having a fulfilling life.

It's been nice sharing this and I hope my experience can help someone. I really wish you all to have a positive experience coming out.

:smilewave