hey guys so I've been getting really close to this friend of mine recently (he's gay) and the other day we were talking about how conservative my mom is and he said "could you imagine what she'd be like if one of you were gay" and obviously my reaction gave me away because he was like...wait, are you gay? and for the first time...I said yes. The thing is he knows with my mom and I'm scared he's going to out me to her, which I'm not ready for (even though I know he probably won't, I'm still freaking out). Anyway, this was one of the first people I've come out to in real life, and I thought I should be relieved, but I still feel sick with stress. Any advice? :help:
Relax? He should have no reason to "rat you out" so to speak without your permission. It should feel good to share a part of yourself with someone you trust.
Why don't you talk to him and secure his promise not to tell anyone else - since this is your private information and only you can decide whom and when to tell? Wouldn't that relieve your stress? You also didn't mention his reaction. Presumably it wasn't bad or you have mentioned that...
Hi LifeAsWeKnowIt, I think Quantumreality's suggesting is a good one -speak to him and make clear that he has no right to tell anyone and that it is up to you who knows (which he should know). However, it sounds like you weren't planning on telling him so it might be that you are stressed out at the idea of talking to him? Even if you are it is probably still the best to speak to him - he should understand what you are going through if he is gay. Is there a particular reason why speaking to him might be a problem or do you have specific concerns?
