First off, a massive thank you to everyone who's replied to any of my previous threads over the last two weeks. I'm hope to send a few personal thankyou's to a couple of you guys that have been extra helpful or have commented a few times tomorrow, but for now I'm tired so this is gonna have to do. I said it before, but I'll say it again now as it means so much more right now - two weeks ago, I wouldn't have even considered coming out to anyone, thanks EC forumers!!! So in case you didn't see my earlier thread, I went out for lunch today to meet up with an old friend. She's someone I went travelling with before I started to figure out my sexuality, before it was even something I was aware of. Just hanging out with her, we had such a laugh, and it reminded me of the person I used to be before all this happened. So I'm clear, I've come to terms with myself, I'm gay and I'm fine with it. It's more that before I really realised this, when I was away I kinda found myself, and then I fell for this guy, and although nothing happened, that was the beginning of my journey. A whole other bunch of things happened, and it was like for a few years all these things were such a big drain on me, and for the afternoon I got to leave all that stuff and just be, well, me. I'd been playing with the idea of coming out to my two best friends all of last week and some of this, kinda got freaked when the plan I'd had in my head seemed to come together earlier than I had anticipated, and I decided to put it off. But coming back on the bus from this lunch, I started thinking about how much I've changed from the fun-loving traveller to this kinda neurotic mess, and how the one force that's always seemed to keep me going as things have gotten rough since I met them are these friends. So I decided that tonight I was gonna do it. I kinda planned my speech (there's a thread on that, wanted some opinions!!), and realised that while I am pretty good at writing the speeches, less ace on the delivery . Even so, got through it and did the prep, and made sure that they understood what I was saying, and made sure we were 'all on board so far'. When they said yes, crunch time, and I was so lost for words. I said I didn't know how to say this right, and kinda paused again. And then I just said "f*** it, I'm ripping the bandaid off - I'm gay!". And then I waited for the world to end. It didn't, clearly. I got about 2 seconds of silence, and then she went OK, and he went OK too. We had a really brief chat, he asked if I had a man in my life, and that was sorta it. I mentioned to them that it was all a bit anticlimactic, to which she replied "what did you think would happen, we'd kick you out?". Then he said "I know what you mean, cus you've probably had a huge build up to this and we're just saying ok, but it doesn't really change anything". And that was kinda it, we were going to the cinema so we spent most of the evening quiet, but we weren't avoiding the topic. Like when we were queueing him and me were making stupid jokes about it all, which was cool cus we always joke around, and it was like nothing had changed at all. Now feeling a mix between happy and numb. I'm pleased it went well, though I don't feel so releaved as I'd expected. Mostly numb, like it never really happened y'know. We're all going to the beach tomorrow so we'll probably talk more about it then, but i'm feeling ok. We'll see how it goes tomorrow...
what a coincidence. we came out to two of our best friends on the same day.. bit scary how similar it was to be honest. but thanks a lot for congratulating me on my own thread. Now is my turn to congratulate you as well. Well done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yay and congrats. It's a hard thing,and like you said,it was building up for such a long time,it doesn't seem quite real,yet. I think that the more you come out,the better you feel. Just take your time and do your next coming out,when you feel it's right. I wish you all the best!
Congrats. When I came out at first I felt numb for a little bit then after a while I felt a lot better.
Yey! How delightfully anticlimactic. By which I mean that in my experience, the less drama there is in the initial coming out, the easier it is to continue on, with one difference: you don't have to hide anymore. The benefits will become readily apparent soon enough! Though I always would have liked a non-anticlimactic coming out, with hot guys dancing around in a wild Bollywood musical act, and fluffy rainbow-coloured bunnies appearing from nowhere... :icon_wink
I've done it again! Talking to my lil cousin on facebook, having deep and meaningfuls about religion and stuff cus we are the only "intellectuals in the family" according to her. So she changed the topic to life goals, and I said I just want to be happy like I used to be and not get weighed down by all the heavy life stuff that happens. I then said that in the last fortnight I'd figured a lot of stuff out and am doing a lot better now, which she pressed, and I kinda though f*** it, why not. So I told her before hand that she'd need to keep it a secret for a while and if she wasn't comfortable with that I'd not burden her, but she said she was fine. So we're up to 3 now. And she's been awesome about it too! This weekend is going so well!
