I came out to my mom about half an hour ago. It didn't go badly i guess, but i'm extremely anxious and just scared. Some background: My mom and I aren't super close, but she's probably one of my family members that i'm most close with. I never was really afraid of her getting angry with me or anything because she does have cousins who are gay and i know she would love me regardless. The only reason I was extremely scared about coming out is that there's always that doubt that something could go wrong and also i've never been good at opening up to any of my family. Also i indentify as bisexual mainly. I've never been completely sure about my sexuality. I sometimes think i could be pansexual or even a lesbian because i have a preference for girls lately. I've known for about 4-5 years that I am attracted to girls. So anyways, I've never been fully ready to come out but i really like this girl and i just want to be able to freely speal about her like she's not just a friend and I also just want to do this for myself. i want this off my chest because i've thought about coming out for months and it just stresses me out. So today I wanted to just get it out there, but i just couldn't speak so i wrote on paper that I liked girls and boys (i didn't write i'm bisexual because i honestly don't know if my mom will understand idk). She ended up saying that i was making quite the statement and asked how could i know if i've never been in a serious relationship, which no i haven't really but i personally think that doesn't make any difference. I flat out said I like a girl and i know that i truly like her. My mom had to go to work but she said we can discuss it later but i don't even want to. I feel like i've left myself vunerable in a way and that scares me. I really am regretting telling her at the moment. I know it didn't go badly but i feel like a piece of me is gone in a way? that might sound stupid but that was something i've kept to myself and friends for the longest time and actually having my mom and possibly my whole family knowing is so scary and it could effect me.
This is just "buyer's remorse" so to speak; it is perfectly normal and common. You feel extra vulnerable, and are scared it won't work out as ideally as you thought. That's what this process does to you. You're asking someone to accept a part of you they didn't know anything about, so it can also be hard on them. If nothing else, look at it this way, what you're doing feels tough now but will lead you to a much better place ultimately.
