Backstory: So, I hadn't yet told any of my family members that I'm genderqueer until now... I've never actually worried about them not accepting me, as all of my immediate family members are (though some of my extended family definitely aren't) pretty hardcore believers in lgbtq+ equality. I've mostly just been irrationally hesitant the last few months, for a couple of reasons. My mom, who is also a hardcore feminist, believes very strongly in that any female can create their own definition of femininity. Which is fine and all, but it makes me feel kind of bad since I'm biologically female, and am totally rejecting being completely female. But before now, I managed to convince myself that the next time I saw my mom, I'd come out to her as being genderqueer, specifically in person, because we don't see each other too often, and it would definitely be more meaningful for both of us, and I'd be forcing myself to get over my irrational anxiety that she might disapprove of me being genderqueer. But anyway... Every year, right after thanksgiving, my entire extended family on my mom's side of the family sends Christmas lists to each other via email. I am very notorious for not knowing what is on my list, so I end up putting 'gift cards' on every year. But this year, there is something very specific that a). I need, and b.) I want. I really need a new hat, because right now I just don't have one. So I went online to look for hats, and found a gorgeous genderqueer flag themed beanie/slouchy hat thing, that absolutely spoke to me. Being a broke teenager with no access to a credit card to buy things online with, my only option would be to ask my mom. (I have other stuff on my list, so I wouldn't dare have it be sent on the email to be shared with the rest of my family.). Of course, asking my mom for such a hat would mean explaining why this particular hat is desirable to me. Eventually, after some debating, I sent my mom the link in a text message. It was very nerve wracking for me because she didn't respond for about a half hour, because she was busy. When she finally responded her message was completely off topic ( it was about a Christmas ornament her friend made). But then she told me that she wouldn't put the hat on the public family list, and that she'd get it for me. I then explained to her what being genderqueer meant to me, and mentioned not wanting to create my own definition of femininity. She got the gist, I think, and as I thought, my irrational anxiety was very much irrational. She is very accepting and loving (thank god). I grew up in a bubble of acceptance for all peoples of every race, background, sexuality, ect., and I know that compared to many other LGBTQ+ people, I am extremely lucky to live in such an accepting environment, and my heart goes out to everyone that has had difficulties with family and friends who are unaccepting. But yeah, this is my story, I guess. Sorry it's kind of rambly, and probably confusing, I really just needed to say something about it...
