My big brother I'll call ! for this thread is a college student in another state. I very rarely see him anymore, but back when we lived together we were never very close at all. So for Thanksgiving my family and I all went to my grandparents farm. They have their home and a 2nd building with cots people sleep at to make enough room for our big family. So ! and I were at the 2nd building, talking about how he's doing in college and what it's like and etc. After awhile of talking to him we were in a happy mood things were going well, when he mentioned this promise I had made him a few years ago. He was a high school senior at the time and I was starting my very 1st day as a Freshman, he was driving us to classes when he asked me if I had any crushes I said no. He said "Do you promise to tell me who your first crush is?" We were in a sarcastic awkward fun brother conversation at the time and I said "Oh yeah definitely" half seriously. Anyway he brought up that old promise I made to him, Our conversation was going really well and I've already come out to my other brother and my parents. So I told him, I told him who my 1st crush was. LOL At 1st he looked at me really puzzled, than said "Are you gay?". I told him yes. He than slowly stood up and walked over to me, I stood up because I was kinda puzzled why he was approaching me, and than he hit me in the face. I fell over and had a nosebleed and he kicked me in the gut. He said "You CAN'T be a faggot and my brother". And left the room really pissed off. Strangely after that hes treated me totally normal. And when he saw the bruises on me he apologized. Wasn't a very good reaction... But all in all I'm happy it's over. My only regret is doing it on Thanksgiving, somewhat ruining both of our holidays.
You didn't ruin anyone's holiday, he chose to be ignorant and homophobic and you didn't choose to be gay. Therefore it isn't your fault at all.
I can't even understand that type of homophobia like WTH? I can understand him being upset based on your previous posts but to react with physical violence is so ridiculous. I hope your family comes around to the idea that being gay is not the end of the world. Good luck Guff.
Hey Guff, I'm sorry things went down like that with your brother. If he treated you normally afterwards and even apologized, it's possible that when he has had time to understand and accept what you told him, he'll just realize that it doesn't really change anything about your relationship with him. Take Care, my friend.
I strangely think it was just the initial shock, I don't think he "likes" it obviously. But I believe it'll all be "ok". He just had to let out his initial anger I guess. I'd honestly rather be physically hurt than emotionally hurt. He didn't really say that much hurtful things, and I personally take insults a LOT worse than I take bruises.
Sorry he took it so badly, and remember that you aren't obligated to forgive him, or let the incident pass. That wasn't something he should've done, and you have every right to be angry with him.
I don't get why people respond with violence, hence the "gay panic defense" in the US and the like. It's not as if you're telling them you're a secretly Xenomorph ready to lay eggs in their skull or anything... Folks need to lighten up, a lot.
He sounds like an asshole. I know he's your brother, but that is an extreme over reaction. Why do men care if other men are gay unless they're going to be sleeping with them? Makes no sense. Either way, at least It's off your chest. Hope you'll be alright.
