Thought I would share my coming out story! It was only a few years ago that I lead a fake life, couldn't be the person who I wanted to be and it amounted to so much anxiety, I realised it was time to do something about this. I had a very good friend of mine, only knew her online, never met in person. She was like my guide to life and without her, I probably wouldn't have come out at all. I used to talk about how to come out to my parents, they were the ones I wanted to address first but was unsure on what method I'd do this. After knowing a few gay friends and how they come out to their parents, I heard too many horror stories of where they were disowned.This was at the top of my worry list. Originally, I wanted to write my parents a letter seeing as I didn't live with them. My friend just opening said I should tell them face to face. The shock horror of hearing this, I declined and said I would rather write to them instead. A few years had passed and I am still in the closet! Not good! Sadly my Dad passed away back in January 2014 and then it suddenly hit me that I didn't get the chance to tell him. On the night before my Dad's funeral, I was with my brother, his girlfriend and my mother. Of course at this time, we were at the very early stages of mourning but I was also angry with myself that I never got to tell my Dad who I really was. Emotions at this time were running full capacity and I'll always remember thinking "How do I come out with it?". I kept going in and out of my Dad's flat to have a cigarette to calm the nerves but every time I was about to tell them, I kept going back outside smoking and running the idea through my head. Then I stopped and thought, what's the worse that could happen?! Extinguished my cigarette, walked into my Dad's flat and I said I needed to tell them something. As soon as I opened my mouth, I started to weep because of the last minute nerves. At first my Mum thought I knew something about my Dad's health/illness that they were not aware of and naturally, I said this doesn't have anything to do with him. I told them that I did not want to make this night about me or divert any attention from my Dad onto me, that was the last thing I wanted to do. I'm quite a light hearted person and I do like a good old joke, a laugh if can! The next words that came out were... "I love cock"... BOOM! DONE! SHOCKED! SILENCE! All three of them were laughing and consoling me. They reassured me that they knew already (somewhat convinced) and from that night on, all the years and years of anxiety/stress/pressure was alleviated, a huge weight off my shoulders! I knew I should have done it a long time ago but sometimes it takes a bad situation to realise that you need to take action on your life. As much as I was distraught that I never got to tell my face whilst he was alive. When we went to visit him earlier that day, I looked at him, in my mind, and told him who I really was.
Thanks for sharing this, it definitely gives me hope, especially hearing this: all the years and years of anxiety/stress/pressure was alleviated, a huge weight off my shoulders!
