(Im so sorry this is a long one but please read it) ...Intro... Im 16 and Im gay! I have known for about 4 years but its been hidden deep within me until recently. I have had very few straight relationship but non of them have lasted more than 3 days each. I am writing this on the Monday 6th April 209 and Im still mid-way through my coming out story but I want to write it now. ...Background... Right I'll start with the first lad I had a big crush on. His name was Will and he is straight. I had feelings for him from September 2008 to February 2009, during which time he had a girlfriend called Sarah (who I didn't really see that often). I spent every second of every day thinking about him and for a while I thought he felt the same about me. Im not sure if I did love him but I had really strong feelings for him. Until his birthday party in February when I saw him with his girlfriend and I realized that he IS straight and he would never go for me. So since then I picked all his bad qualities and focused on them until I started to actually hate him for making me feel horrible about myself for leading me on. ...Coming out... After that I stopped talking to Will and instead became very close friends with a girl called Robyn, who has since sort of become my 'Faghag'. 4 weeks ago (on red nose day in the UK) I came out as 'Bi' to Robyn, my gay friend Jack and our friend Megan (Jack's 'faghag'). I felt really vonarable for about 1 second then Jack said "Aww... group hug!" and they all hugged me and I felt so accepted, it was amazing. For the rest of that night I felt so relieved that I was finally made some progress towards coming out. And towards the end of the night Jack (who was drunk) put his hands down my pants and for the following week all I could think about was that. During which time I think I developed feelings for him. ...Him... A week later me, Robyn, Megan and Jack had another get together simalar to the week before but this time witht the addition of Lauren (Megan's cousin and Robyn's bestfriend) who I came out as 'Bi' to that night so I could enjoy my night. She took it well and we have became closer since I told her. Later that night we were all in Robyn's bedroom and me and Jack (who was drunk again) where on on her bed, under her covers and I felt his hand move on to my jeans so I returned the gesture and then we started to 'feel each other up'. I felt amazing but while we where doing this (nobody else in the room could see) Jack was talking to Robyn about this boy he likes called Aaron which made me feel very awkward and like I was nothing to him really but I really liked him. For the next two weeks I saw all 4 people at school and we became quite all good friends. ...Drunk... Then the wierdest night ever took place, two days ago from right now when I am writing this. ALL my friends went to Robyn's for her birthday party that night. It started worse than any party I have ever been to.... Jack (who was drunk again) was flirting with WILL!!! I couldn't handle it and I had no one to talk to about it so, I got really drunk. I was so drunk I told everyone that "I like boys". And when I was drunk I kissed Megan!!! I know it was a bad thing to do but I was really drunk, and she told Will who told everyone. Robyn got really angry at me and Megan becasue she liked me! I was so drunk I spent the night on the kitchen floor telling Lauren I was a horrible person. She was really nice to me and took me to bed and when I got into bed Jack was already in there. I felt his hand against my pants and I did the same to him... from there we started kissing and doing more and more... until we started to have sex but we stopped becasue people kept coming into the room. The next morning everyone was in a mood with me for kissing Megan so to take the heat off myself I said I was too drunk to remember anything. ...Now... And now Robyn is talking to me but not Megan. Jack hasn't talked to me since the party, either because he doesn't like me and regrets doing what he did, or he doesn't want to talk to me because a lot of people are in a mood with Megan because she upset Robyn on her birthday, or he thinks that night meant nothing to me because he thinks I can't remember it!!! But it meant the world to me!! And now Will is telling everyone Im gay!! Well wish me luck and I'll keep you updated on what's happening. Any suggestions on what to do now?? Thank you so much for reading. x
Hey Michael, welcome to EC. My advice and all I can suggest at this point, is to just own it. It's kinda out of your control anyway, so the best you can do is just be honest. Own up to being gay. Own up with Jack to enjoying what you were doing with him. If it goes further, it does, otherwise there are other gay fishies, even sober ones, in the sea. Own up to being drunk and kissing Megan but tell her she's a good friend but no you're not bi, you are gay. Don't let all the drama fester. Deal with it, and then move on with your new out gay life.
Wow...... that is quite a coming out story lol..... jack....sounds like someone that can only express his feelings (more intimately) when drunk...not good dude! I think you should confront him ...alone.... and tell him exactly what you feel. And dude....if you need a friend...im here with open arms lol talk to me about anything!!! Ask me anything about myself if you want! im very open!
Hmmm, first of all... Welcome to Ec Second, Atleast your out now. It seems like your at the point now were you just haver to assume that everyone knows. Just livew your life out of the closet from now on and if you happen to come across anyone who does not know your gay, and with Will doing what hes doing that should be hard to find, then just say "Oh, you didnt know? Yea im gay." and move on like normal. Your out now, no way to go back in But this is a -good- thing! I would definitely either call or e-mail everyone whos friendship you value whos not talking to you atm. Apologize apologize apologize! I dont think any of them have the intention to stay mad at you forever, so just get the awkwardness out of the way and take the first step to fixing the problem Once everything is back to normal, i would stay away from Jack whenever he is drunk and you two could possibly be alone. Like, i really stress this one. It sounds like Jack may be a "horny drunk". Some people get very horny when they drink and would fuck anything that moves - boy or girl in many cases. No matter how you feel for jack, its not fair to him to take advantage of this so i would definitely stay aaaaaaway from him during all drinking. Last thing, tell your family if you have not. Trust me on this, once this many people know your family WILL find out. You want them to hear it from YOU not from someones parent or a friend of yours.
well... thats a confusing situation. and i think u should talk to Jack. if u like him, i say go for it. after what almost happened between u 2, id say he may feel the same way. As for Will, fuck him. who cares what he does. and as for Robyn and Megan, help them repair their friendship. tell whomever that your sorry for whatever happened. even if u remember what happened, u were drunk and upset- u couldnt think straight. (lol- pun)
