Instead of just coming out and being able to say I came out twenty-one years ago with an end of story moment it was more complicated than that. I had set up an appointment to come out and eleven days before that my dad died. I did come out three months later to my mom and sister. Every time I talk about my dad it feels like a disconnect happens. Since coming out is already hard and only relatable to this community my dad's death created a seperation from everyone. Literally no one has ever reacted to it in a way where there was clear communication or understanding. Perhaps a web site about coming out is the place to actually feel like I am coming out instead of feeling like my dads death overshadows it every time. Empty Closets I am gay.
That was intense I admit and the poet in me always is. :icon_bigg (&&&) :thewave::thewave: ride: I hope that lightens things up.
Congratulations, SorcererRoland! The hardest part of being LGBTQ usually is understanding and accepting your own sexuality. The next hardest part is Coming Out to family and close friends. It takes a lot of courage to Come Out to people on whom you rely for love and support because there is always a chance that they will reject you. From what you said, I take it that your Mom and Sister have been accepting? I was a bit confused by your post. In what way the reaction by your mom and sister to your Coming Out not what you expected? Are you feeling kind of down because you didn't get to Come Out to your Dad before he passed away? Are you linking your Coming Out and your Dad's death in your mind because they happened so closely together?
It is more like living in a secret world where I want to be myself and coming out is meant to allow that but then my dad becomes part of that secret world when he died. Then even coming out is more like a transition to another secret world. I guess my explanation was confusing, again too much like a poem.
Hey SorcererRoland, May I suggest that you seek out a therapist? What you are saying doesn't seem particularly complicated, but extremely personal and the solution is probably something that you should explore directly with a therapist. It doesn't seem (to me) like something that our anonymous online community can help you resolve. Just my thoughts.
I understand it now. Not coming out to my dad always effects who I have and have not come out to. It has caused me to be reserved and I am presently not as out as I would like to be. It is just like any situation that causes people to not come out to some people and to come out to others. This makes this sight exactly where I belong.
