So I posted something earlier this week, and to update, had my first week back at college after the easter break where I came out to half of my circle of friends there over break. It's been a funny week, not a lot of lectures as we're in the revision period now, so we've not been in every day like normal, but I've seen the two that I've yet to tell a few times. And I haven't been able to tell them. I'm not really sure why not. I know they'll probably be fine with it. Part of it I think is a timing thing, trying to find a moment that is right, cus I don't know why but I think cus we're friends I owe it to them to be more than just a "oh, by they way, I'm gay" dropped in the middle of a sentance. Plus, all of the other people I've told was kinda out of desperation to tell someone, anyone, not even necessarily telling the people I did because of who they were, but when they asked what was wrong. Now that I'm feeling a bit bitter and a lot more in control of how I feel, I'm not sure really how to approach this. We were just hanging this afternoon having coffee, doing a little revision and having a chat, and to me it felt like slipping into old times, and that kinda scared me cus I don't wanna be taking steps backwards. I want to be honest, and I want to just do normal things without thinking the whole time that I'm sat with a group of people, half of them know and half don't. I kinda just want it to be said and for it to be over, but I can't seem to do it. Advice please!!!
Hi I am Chris the advise I would give is to take them into a room or a quiet place and just say: " I have something to tell you I have been thinking thing's through in my head. I have been confused about who I am and what I want and have finally decided what I want and it's not to live a life of lies and as you are my best friend's I need to tell you that I am gay" That is what I said to 2 of my best mates that I can trust and I thought that they might be a bit funny because I have never let on about the fact that I knew that I was gay. I hope this help's.xx Good Luck.
Hey I'm Tom. When I told some of my friends it was something very spontaneous, but when it came to telling some of my other friends I was acting somewhat similiar to you. I did what Chris suggested and waited for the right time, when exams and all the stress disappeared, then went into a quiet place and told some of the others. I said that I had some big news and that they may not like me afterwards, as much as they did before. Then I said "I'm gay" and they were really supportive, I sort of over reacted a little bit. But, I guess you don't know what will happen until you actually do it. I hope this helps. Good luck, and best wishes! Tom.
So d'ya think it's a good idea to leave it til after exams then? I thought about that myself but I figured I was just looking for a reason to put it off.
i would focus on exams first then when thats settled talk to them quietly things get stressfukk with exams your mind constantly rushing they might not be able to handle thinking about you constantly and it aint fair to potentially mess with their head and it would make you feel bad ruining the exams for everyone involved theres no rush telling people if theyre your friends they will care appreciate how dififcult this is and understand your time telling them hope your ok
The right moment will come eventually, most of mine have been spontaneous. And if you think this is going to worry and distract you during exams, maybe consider doing it beforehand so you can focus 100% on studying? Just putting my 2 pence in
