I was at lunch the other and this one gay friend of mine grabbed my phone. He typed in the word gay sex (he does this as a joke relatively often). He saw the gay porn I was watching on there (I forgot to delete my history the night before). Because I'm not the guy you would suspect as gay (tall, a little chubby, racist, homophobic) he was surprised. I had to immediately grab my phone. Worst day of my life. I told him to keep it secret, but I'm scared. If my mom finds out I'm gay she'll kick me out of the house (very Catholic daily mass goer, also she's said that she would do that if any of us were). I'm also trying to join the army when I get out of highschool and don't want to be the faggot in the group. I also go to a prestigious all boys Catholic highschool, so being gay wouldn't be the best thing. Any tips? He seems like he'll keep the secret but if anybody has any tips I'd really like one.
I think you are worrying too much. Embrace who you are or else you'll never truly be yourself. I've had a similar thing happen where I met someone online then later on that person started at my workplace. We were both in the closet still. You'll be fine being gay in the army. There's heaps of gay soldiers in there. You'll be very surprised how many. Be yourself man. If your parents can't love you for that, then it's their issue.
I agree with lostdownunder. It's ok to be who you are. Be your real self. I wish I had accepted that I was gay much earlier. But now I'm married with kids and trying to untangle this terrible web I've woven for myself. Being in the closet only gets harder.
