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Just came out to my parents

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by starfish, Apr 25, 2009.

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  1. starfish

    starfish
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    It is official I am now fully out.

    I flew home to visit my parents and I came out to them tonight. The details will have to wait as my laptop died and I am posting from my blackberry.

    The response was as good as can be expected. They were surprised. My mom was supportive. My dad did not say much and was distant.

    My mom did ask if I have ever been in a long term relationship and I said no. She ask if I knew for sure and I said I did and feel strongly about it.
    I did say I believe this is how we are born and my dad say he does not believe that He said he thinks it is environmental and strong hinted at my relationship with my biological mother being the cause. They both expressed a concern over the things I would miss out on. I expected that and rebuffed it as politely and gently as I could. They both did still say they love me and that will not change

    Overall it went well and it will take time. I did see many of the classic signs of denial. That is ok I went though them my self. Once they get used to it I don't think it will be an issue.

    I am so glad that is over with.
     
    #1 starfish, Apr 25, 2009
  2. RaRa

    RaRa
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    Congrats!

    Sounds like things went pretty well. :slight_smile:
     
    #2 RaRa, Apr 25, 2009
  3. josh33

    josh33 Guest

    Congratulations!

    I experienced the same thing with my mum. I guess it's just how parents react and in time things will be fine. It sounds like they were mostly cool with it which is great :slight_smile:
     
    #3 josh33, Apr 25, 2009
  4. Bryan44

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    Congrats, I am glad that things seem to have gone well.
    Hopefully your dad will come around with time.
     
    #4 Bryan44, Apr 25, 2009
  5. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Congratulations on coming out to your parents. :slight_smile:

    It must have been difficult. I am glad that your coming out seems to have gone well. Your parents just have started the process of adjusting to it. But with time, your parents will come around to it.
     
    #5 Mirko, Apr 26, 2009
  6. Eleanor Rigby

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    Congratulations ! Give your father some time, it might get better :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Eleanor Rigby, Apr 26, 2009
  7. EM68

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    Congrats. I am glad it went well. Like everyone said give your parents some time. You may want to give them some PFLAG material to read over.
     
    #7 EM68, Apr 26, 2009
  8. -Michael-

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    Congrats!!!!!!
     
    #8 -Michael-, Apr 26, 2009
  9. beckyg

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    #9 beckyg, Apr 26, 2009
  10. Filip

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    Congratulations! I bet that's a load off your chest.

    I'm sure that they will grow more comfortable with it in time.
     
    #10 Filip, Apr 26, 2009
  11. Thisisnew

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    Congrats :slight_smile:
     
    #11 Thisisnew, Apr 26, 2009
  12. DexterMorgan

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    Congrats! I'm glad they took it well!
     
    #12 DexterMorgan, Apr 26, 2009
  13. Mickey

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    I agree. You need to educate them,especially your dad. Give them the PFLAG material and look into the book,Now That You Know. I,myself, have never read this book,I'm just repeating what many others have said. It seems to help.
    I give you so much credit,coming out to your parents. It just may be the hardest thing you'll ever do. And YOU DID IT! Good for you!
     
    #13 Mickey, Apr 26, 2009
  14. starfish

    starfish
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    Thanks guys. I have to admit. I am surprised that nothing has been said about it today. I expected some questions.

    My current line of thinking is to just let it be for now. Then in a few days send them an email with the PFLAG info. I will see them next weekend also, so that may workout.

    They are fairly conservative Christians, so I am kinda walking a fine line here. I don't what to give them so much info now that it is overwhelming and off putting. At the same time I want to make sure they have good resources to answer questions as they figure this out. My biggest fear is they go looking for information and they find the bad answers.
     
    #14 starfish, Apr 26, 2009
  15. kramer362

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    I think you're going about it well. Since it wasn't brought up again give them a little time then send them the pflag materials :thumbsup:
     
    #15 kramer362, Apr 26, 2009
  16. Mysterons

    Mysterons Guest

    Hey, congratulations! That took guts!
     
    #16 Mysterons, Apr 26, 2009
  17. BitterEdge

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    congrats on such an awesome coming out with the family.
     
    #17 BitterEdge, Apr 26, 2009
  18. Just Adam

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    congrats very happy for you :slight_smile:
     
    #18 Just Adam, Apr 26, 2009
  19. Pepsi

    Pepsi Guest

    That's really great. I'm happy it went so well for you.
     
    #19 Pepsi, Apr 26, 2009
  20. Filip

    Filip
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    That seems to be a common reaction with many parents. I came out a little over a week ago, and I'm almost starting to believe I dreamed it, because it never gets mentioned even as a side remark.
    I figure it just needs some time to sink in...
     
    #20 Filip, Apr 26, 2009
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