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My coming out as bisexual story and genderfluidity

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by BostonStranger, May 2, 2017.

  1. BostonStranger

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Amsterdam
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Okay so this is my first 'real' thread and what better subject than my own coming out story.

    As a young child I had feelings for both boys and girls and I wasn't exactly your typical gender role conforming kid. I liked girls' clothes and boys' clothes and girls' toys and boys' toys. But not always at the same time, it changed every now and then.

    Fast forward to when was 17. I met a girl who was bisexual and we got along great. It was platonic, but there was definitely some sexual attraction. I was way too shy and uncomfortable at the time to get more serious with her, but she did help me realise that my feelings were perfectly normal and after a few months I came out as bisexual to myself and to her. Before then, I didn't think it was possible that I could be bisexual. I said to myself: "What are the odds?".

    A few weeks later I came out to some close friends and started telling other friends. I got a lot of support and they were all excited for me. A month or so later, another 'friend' had heard about it through the grapevine and thought it would be funny to out me to my friends. He tried, only to find out that they already knew. I'll never forget the look on his face. Needless to say, we're not friends anymore.

    A few years went by, I had come out to pretty much all of my friends, classmates at uni and some acquaintances. I still had to come out to my family, but even though most of them are very progressive, I didn't have the courage to tell them.

    2014 came, it was a few days after the opening of the Sochi Winter Olympics in Russia. A client of mine at my internship mentioned the violence against LGBT people in Russia and we had a small discussion. That's when I realised that now was the moment to come out to everyone, I didn't want to be invisible anymore. I wanted the whole world to know, so I did a huge Facebook announcement and I got nothing but love and support, except from my grandmother, but she turned around after a few months. As for my dad, he supported me coming out, but I don't think he ever really accepted it.

    Lately though I've learned about genderfluidity and realised that that's what I am. I never quite understood my gender identity, because it changed periodically. I figured that those feelings would go away after puberty, but they didn't. So now I'm on another journey of self discovery. I'm hoping to learn more and feel comfortable with it and maybe even come out at some point.
     
  2. BiGuy365

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Fort Worth, TX
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Family only
    Thanks for sharing your story. I am still trying to wrap my head around what genderfluid really means. Many girls like to wear guy clothes and no make-up at certain times. Other times, they may feel more "girly" and want to wear a dress, etc.. Many guys I know are not like that, but that is yet another double standard with girls vs. guys in society.
     
  3. BostonStranger

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Amsterdam
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Well actually, physically I am a guy. I know my profile picture says otherwise. That photo is actually how I found EC. When I realised I was genderfluid, I altered a photo of myself to see what I would look like as a woman. (physically I'm as masculine as it gets. I got a testosterone count once and I had the testosterone of two healthy men). It was like taking a look at myself in the mirror and seeing the other end of who I am. I started to google for stories of genderfluid people and ended up on EC.

    I decided to use that photo as my profile picture. I feel that right now EC is the only place where I feel save enough to express myself. The thing is, if I don't remain anonymous, it's a guarantee that I will have to come out or be outed in at the most a year. I'm very politcally active and am a candidate for next year's city council elections. Every now and then I'm in a local or regional paper and I will have all camera's on me in March next year. I really don't feel like publically coming out or be outed to 80,000 people before I'm ready.
     
  4. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Arizona, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's always great to hear positive Coming Out stories!:thumbsup: Thanks for sharing, BostonStranger!:slight_smile:
     
  5. BiGuy365

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Fort Worth, TX
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Family only
    I understand. Glad to hear of your success! :slight_smile: