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An update

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Phantom, Apr 26, 2009.

  1. Phantom

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    I haven't posted for ages (I'll explain why in a sec) but a lot has happened that I need to get off my chest.

    Those of you who read my last post will know that coming out to my parents didn't go particularly well. However, after I made that post they became very paranoid and started snooping through my Internet history and past MSN conversations. Being "appauled" at what they found (which in my defense was never anything really dodgy or anything, mainly just googling hot celebrities and discussing guys with my friends) they decided to set up an Internet filter which blocked, among other things, EC.

    However, a broken iPod nano and a breif legal battle with Apple later, I found myself upgraded to an iPod touch, which among other things, has wifi. I'm not sure how aware of that fact my parents are, but any sites I visit on here (namely EC), are invisible to them.

    After that they completely dropped the subject, which would be okay if not for the fact that my dad still militantly makes homophobic jokes. When I tried to talk to him about it, he told me to get a sense of humour, but it's clear to me that he's trying to make a point.

    However, it isn't all bad news. Against my parents original wishes, I came out publicly in school. It has Bern fantastic, like a huge weight being lifted. People either don't care or (in the case of some girls) want to be my best friend (!) I would go into more detail about how fantastic it was, but I don't want to bore anyone and the keyboard on an iPod touch is absurdly small and my thumb is aching!

    Thank you to anyone who read all that, any advise would be a bonus.
     
  2. Mickey

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    Okay,I know it's hard,but just ignore your dad. He's pulling that macho guy stuff. I'm not too sure what you can say or do to stop him,so maybe try to just ignore him and don't let him know it bothers you. The more he knows it does bother you,the more he'll do it.
    I know it's no fun being bullied by your dad,but I'm not sure what else you can do.
    I'm glad you found a way to use the internet,over their heads.
    All I can say is,just continue to be yourself . You'll be out of there one day and you'll be able to live your life free and without all that hassle. I wish you the best.
    Always be proud of who you are.
     
  3. Phantom

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    Thanks :slight_smile: Ill try to put up with my dad for the time being, but I'll be free in a few years I guess. That really helped :slight_smile:
     
  4. Jim1454

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    LOL - Glad you've now got access to EC again. I can only imagine how time consuming it takes though to post using your iTouch. Yikes. Funny that your parents don't know you can access the internet with it. Don't worry - we won't tell them!

    Good that you're back. Glad the coming out at school went well. Try not to let your dad bother you. At the same time, you should feel free to talk to them about what you're doing in your life - even if it highlights that you're gay. If he can make those kind of comments as 'jokes' then you can do the same in the spirit of making 'chit chat'.

    Good luck!
     
  5. Phantom

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    Thanks :slight_smile: I've been looking at some other threads and letters/emails seem to be a good way of comunicating with troublesome parents. What do you guys reckon? In this situation is my dad any more likely too see my point of view if he sees it in a different medium? I'll try to come up with a draft and post it so you can tell me how to improve it if you like.
     
  6. Elesbian47

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    My parents have the same views after my long heartfelt letter, but at least now I know that I've expressed myself and am not letting them do all the talking/judging/decision making. My letter helped me more than it helped our relationship because since I put my views down on paper I have an even harder time accepting their non acceptance and going along with their discrimination.

    But back to you, I say writing your thoughts and feelings down where you can sort through them is always good. So is communication.
     
  7. Elesbian47

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    how's that draft?
     
  8. Phantom

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    It's tricky... I can't figure out exactly what I want to say in a way that they might listen to, but it's coming along.
     
  9. Maddy

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    Good to have you back :slight_smile: I always recommend writing letters as a good way of getting your message across, being able to make drafts and carefully choose your words without risking getting tongue-tied, and the clearer you can be about how what he says hurts you, the more chance there is that he'll take it to heart.