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My 1st not so Good Coming Out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by SailingKoala, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. SailingKoala

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    Ok, so i have been blessed so far with very supportive and understanding friends, and although I know My parents will be different I have been picking off the people I respect enough to feel I owe them the truth and up until know no problems. Even with what I am about to say I know this isn't a major disaster, but it has rocked my belief in people a little.
    So I have travelled around alot and therefore have people I class as friends all over the place some I may never see again some like this guy when we are in the same country a group of us will always try to meet up. Anyway I felt I owed him the truth as I feel he is still a close friend so tonight I told him on IM, anyway to cut a long story short (At least shorter) his reaction was

    Him- understanding...not fully..but honesty yes. I do not agree, but I'm no Homophobe. Folks are folks, and we should just get along.

    Like I said not the worst and not a FCUK U, but the worst I have had.

    My reaction to start was a bad one (glad I always read what I write before I send), then I thought again and said something like

    for gods sack I understand I have been fighting myself for years trying to be "Normal" and I am just now accepting myself at 30.....

    I am now confused I am more upset that I slipped back and Implied I am no longer normal, than I am with the fact he doesn't seem to fully understand. :bang:

    Sorry lost a little where I'm going with this suppose I need someone just to tell me to get a grip and point out it could be a lot worse, just needed to share.... sorry:icon_sad:
     
  2. Legnaj

    Legnaj Guest

    From personal experince, be glad he didnt say your a waste of life or that you deserve to die. Everyone disagrees on things but that doesnt mean that everyone should fight about it...always. I dont like my neighbor's house color but he is still a pretty cool guy. Your bound to see alot of houses with color's that you dont like but there are some pretty cool people in those houses and usually the houses with the color you like have boring or bad people in it. Variety is what makes our friends unique.

    I have a good friend who had the same reaction and firends with worse. Be happy thats all you got. it could have been worse, get a grip, its a good thing you shared :cP
     
  3. beckyg

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    Usually people that say "I don't agree" seem to think that being gay is a choice. Try to forgive your friend for being "misinformed". Its your job to educate him.
     
  4. Elesbian47

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    ^ thanks for that, beckyg
     
  5. Greggers

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    If he says "I do not agree, but I'm no Homophobe" challenge him.

    Because those two messages are clearly contradicting eachother! You cant "not agree" with homosexuality and then say that.

    Like becky said, try and educate him now. Homophobia is a direct result of not knowing. Its just like being in your room as a child and having a fear of the dark. When you shine a light into the dark and see that nothing is actually there you can finally sleep well. People are afraid of what they do not know. If you help him understand homosexuality is not a choise and that it is not un-natural, bizzare, or harmful he will change from "meh" to "horray" :slight_smile:

    As for having your first "not so great" coming out, take it as a learning experience. Its bound to happen, and once it does you dont have to live in fear of the day its going to happen anymore. You survived your first bump in the road alive, congratulations:slight_smile:
     
  6. SailingKoala

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    Cheers Legnaj - I understand everyone has different opinions and that is what makes everyone different and that is why we like people for that. It would be boring world and just a little scary if everyone had the same opinion as me. I think what upset me was the fact his none complete understanding got me calling myself not normal again after working so hard to make sure I stopped thinking I wasn't normal/correct/allowed to be this. That's what has got me angry not him, myself for letting myself give up on myself at one road block - I won't let that happen again!!

    Beckyg - cheers I suppose I should try to understand his point of view and educate him that it is not a choice - I mean that's half the way I accepted myself, apart from also being fed up alone.. I have asked my first friend who I came out too to have a little chat to him think I phrased it Explain I am not suddenly a Monster... But I am thinking if it is even worth trying to change his thinking.

    Anyway I am like I said more disappointed/upset/Angry at myself..........

    I am just as Normal as anybody else in most cases far too boringly normal.
     
  7. SailingKoala

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    Sorry for posting straight away again....

    Thanks Greggers, I understand and agree that his phrasing comes from not having knowledge of what being gay is, and the fact it's not a choice... before I type to much and probably say what I just typed above......I'll stop and just say thxs again