Hello, Ok. I am out to about a dozen of my close friends who are all super supportive of me and some of which are pansexual, bisexual, etc. I have been considering coming out to my parents and the rest of my family (I have a younger and older sister as well as an older brother who don't know as well) because they have displayed several signs of being ok with the LGBT community, but my father is the one I am concerned about. I am a gay 16 year old boy who is slightly effeminate, and my dad lacks the open mind that the rest of my family has. When passing by a gay pride event recently, he made a derogatory comment that my mother quickly corrected saying you need a more open mind in todays world, further evidence she might suspect I'm gay given that she was so quick to stop any negativity towards it. So my concern becomes whether or not he will be ok with it or at least accept who I am, as I am fully reliant on my parents at this point in my life and rejection or being kicked out of the house would be the worst thing to happen to me right now. I guess I want some perspectives that will look at the situation objectively, as I have thought so much about the situations and looked at every little detail that I honestly don't know what to do at this point. And if you decide that I should go for it, I do have an idea as to how...I am planning to work at a bakery this summer and thought that I could frost it on a cake, as desserts are a huge favorite in my house. How can you not accept me if I am offering you cake! Thanks in advance to anyone for helping!
I think being truthful with your parents is a very important thing. Yes, the truth at times may be both hard to speak and hard to hear, but genuine healing can only occur in an environment where truth wins out. So I would come out to your mom first, and then maybe you two could tell your dad together. I hope it all goes well.
Hey robbie2, You should only Come Out to someone if you are comfortable doing so and if you feel it is safe to do so. From what you describe, your main worry is about your Dad's reaction. If there is really a chance that he might disown you and throw you out of the house or even just make life miserable for you until you move out of the house, you may want to seriously consider waiting until you have moved out on your own to Come Out to your parents. Another possibility you might consider would be to Come Out to your Mom first (she sounds like she will be accepting) and then ask her opinion/thoughts on Coming Out to your Dad. I like your cake idea for Coming Out. Of course, that would basically mean that you Come Out to both of your parents and your siblings at about the same time. Just some thoughts. Best of luck with whatever you decide!
You should only tell the people that you're comfortable telling. Your mom sounds like she would be the one in your family to be the most accepting, so if you'd like, I'd say go for it. If you're worried about your dad's reaction, you could always just tell mom first and then consult her for advice on how to move forward. A cake would be a fine idea, if that's what you want to do!
You seem like you're on the verge of doing it, so I strongly urge you to find the strength to just do it and get it over with. Despite your dad's comments, your family sounds like they would be quite accepting. How you do it doesn't matter, but you'll make your life so much better if you do it. You've already got an excellent support system in your friends to rely on if anything bad happens, but I don't think you'll experience more than a day or two of awkwardness, at worst. Please don't end up like me. Trust me, there's never a perfect time to come out, and the longer you wait the more difficult it becomes. Rip the bandaid off and enjoy your life. Good luck!
