Pretty long post but here goes This past Friday we were going to throw my friend a going away party because he'll be leaving for college. My friend is gay and we're all cool with it. After a bit of drinking I started to notice him and his boyfriend. I started to feel like I wanted to know how it feels to have a boyfriend. After a few a while we all started getting a bit crazier. throwing people in pools, stripping =P and other stuff. I kept on noticing my friend and his boyfriend, but I don't like either I just wanted what they had. Here's the main reason for this post. I've had this friend that at first I didn't like but lately (like a month ago) I started having feelings toward him. After this party I felt like I really wanted to tell him. By the way, we all pretty much know he's gay or at least bi, but we just feel like pushing him or anything. I ended up pulling him aside and I felt like telling him I'm bi and that I have a crush on him. After like 20 minutes I ended up telling him. He didn't really believe me and he thought it was just because im drunk. After a while it sunk in and he believed me.I told him everything or at least a lot more than Ive ever told anyone. I've told him about past experiences with guys and girls and about my liking him. Then it was his turn. He kept on smiling while i told him and kept on calling me cute =P. He told me he was bi, but a lot more towards guys and he told me about how he's had a crush on me ever since he meet me, but he said he never said or did anything because he thought I was straight and he doesn't mess around with straight guys. Now here's another big thing that I should have mentioned since the beginning. I have a girlfriend and my girlfriend is my crush's bestfriend. Messed up right? I told him I wasnt ready to tell anyone, so we agreed to keep it that way. He kept on asking me who i liked more and I couldn't decide. In my mind, I'm pretty sure what I want, but it's a lot harder to say. I ended up asking him to spend the night at my house and he did. We ended up talking and just holding eachother in my bed until the early morning and of course we did other stuff (not sex! I'm not ready to do that with him) In the back of my head i kept thinking about my girlfriend and how she asked me not to cheat on her after something i had done with her other bestfriend before we went out. I know I like my friend more than my girlfriend and I do plan on breaking up with my girlfriend soon because I don't want to do that to them because they both are my bestfriends too. I say soon because I'm afraid of losing my girlfriend. I know it's selfish but I still want her to be in my life. Also because of prom. She's my date and she's been looking forward to this since we started going out. I know I don't like her this way anymore but I don't want to break her heart. Especially not now. I don't post often, but when I do.... I feel shitty now after reading the last part. =/
Better to be honest now than have her find out later. People may suprise you. My ex-GF knows I'm gay and is now my best friend. Hope this helped
This post is kind of ironic. Last weekend I was talking with this guy online. We had so much in common! We both loved Musical Theatre and he knew all the musicals I did. We talked on messenger for four hours until he asked if he could be blunt with me, he told me that he kinda has a GF and she's been his best friend since the 6th grade. That she knows his track record and that he is much more into men for the physical than the emotional (this was after he looked at my pictures on my Myspace page ... made me feel like I was ugly! Gee .. thanks right!) and he told me he is very much figuring things out, but he doesn't want to ruin what he has with his GF and he thinks it may just work out. I told him that I was just trying to be his friend and he said he really doesn't have time for anything "new". The day I found his profile on ####### again as he was "online" looking ... the male feminist in me thinks that if you are dating that you need to be respectful of that person whether or not they know your track record. I also have a hard time with guys still experimenting while they are in a commited relationship (that's my opinion). I've broken girls hearts when they didn't know I was gay and I had to tell them. This guy hasn't spoken to me in over a week, he's still on my YM! but he waits for me to make the initiative. Again, if you read any of my other posts, seeing a trend! Gah! I agree with Phantom, its been to be honest with yourself and everyone now than to have a catastrophe later.
