Mom and Dad

Why am I making this post at 3:40 in the morning when I have to wake up tomorrow morning and the incident I am going to talk about was 2 weeks ago?

Well, I just answered someone's support question and referenced my own experience and realized I never made one of these posts, but hey, it's not too late.

Friday night. My brother (who has known for a year or so) is in from college. My family came to see the improv show I coordinated/was in. It went really well. Everything was feeling good. Family dinner. Afterwards, my dad and brother take my grandfather home. When they get home, my dad starts washing the dishes.

I go upstairs to talk to my brother. I tell him I'm going to come out to my parents. "What right now? Shouldn't you let them know gently?" "What? How am I supposed to do that?" He told me to wait a week, that he was coming back next weekend, but if I really was set on doing it...go ahead.

I went downstairs. Cleared the table a little more. Did some nervous walking back and forth from room to room. It was after 11. My mom was kind of asleep on the couch, my dad still washing dishes. I wait until he's pretty much done. "Dad, can I talk to you and mom in the family room?"

I have my dad take a seat (my mom, laying on the couch, sits up), and then I pull up a chair across from them. "What is it? What's going on?" That was probably my mom that said that... "Just spit it out. Whatever it is, you can tell us." That was probably my dad.

Eventually, after some stuttering and nervous hand wrangling I get around to saying, "I'm not attracted to...women. Like I never have been. When puberty hit me, I realized I was attracted to guys."

I think one of the first things my parents said was "We accept you for who you are." And they made it clear that nothing had changed. (And nothing has...everything is exactly the same as it was before I told them. Everything.)

There was maybe a question or two. "Are you sure?" I don't remember exactly.

"I thought it might be that," said my mom. "I was just thinking. Why hasn't Noah dated anyone yet? He's attractive, the girls like him. Huh." Thanks mom.

"But you know, you might turn out to be bisexual. You know that happens sometimes." Of course Mom. It could happen. Don't count on it.

Have you told anybody? I answered them. My brother knows. A bunch of my friends.

"Well we won't tell anyone unless you want us too." Then my dad told me that he was the person one of his best friends in high school came out to. It sounded like he didn't accept his friend right away, like he had a tough time with it then. But now, it was good.

I explained that this was important in my college choice and was the reason I wanted to go up north. They reminded me that finances could make that impossible. "I know. I know. But I can still try."

I was very happy. I didn't even have to give them the "Straight Guide to GLBT Americans" that I printed out. I still have it. I don't know what to do with it. I went up to my room and probably came on EC or something.

My dad knocked on my door later and just double checked to make sure I was okay. He said, "We love you and accept you." And that was that.

About a week later, my mom says, "Your dad thinks you should look at UVA, it's a good school you know."

"UVA, mom? University of Virginia? Don't want to go there."

"Why not?"

"Mom! I don't want to go anywhere in Georgia, Florida, Virginia, Alabama, Mississipi, Louisiana, Kentucky, etc!"

At the very least, they won't suggest any army colleges any more....

But seriously, it went very well. I did have doubts that they would be so accepting right away, and I was, well, I guess just worrying a little much. Now I'm trying to figure out do I tell them I want to come out to everyone or do I just do it and tell them I did it? I don't know exactly what to do from here. But I'll try not to lie anymore...