Hmm i would do this under anonymous... :icon_redf but i really need the posts, i need to pm someone Anyway so yeah hmm coming out, well. . . . I haven't yet to anyone in real life, thats still a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge huge huge, did i say huge? huge! step for me, im soo scared of talking to someone in person. (before i start talking i have to say that i dont have alot/if any, real life friends because of feeling like a girl on the inside but being a boy on the outside, it makes me scared of getting close to people in real life. So the people i am actually the closest too and mean soooo much to me, are online friends, which i havent met (yet) in real life.) anyways... ... I came out to like a whole bunch of my online friends now and i love it ;o they're all super amazing, so supportive, they all call me lisa and say things like "she/her/..." instead of "he/his..", I know its litle things but they make me so happy. Like my beeeeeeeeeestest friend (online friend, havent met him yet but we been talking daily since 2003), lets call him -friend-, hes like 24 yrs old, he used to say things like "mate" and stuff and now he says "hun or babe" to me and i feel so happy when he does that, makes me feel like im a girl :icon_redf Well -friend- (bestest friend), he was the first person i ever told about me. I mean i pretty much wanted to be a girl since i was 5yrs old and im 18 now turning 19 in august. and a couple months ago I was on msn talking to -friend- and I just couldn't keep it from him anymore, i HAD to tell him. So i began... me: -friend-... I umm.. have to tell you something about... myself me: about how I feel about myself... -friend-: ;o -friend-: alright me: But I'm scared you're gonna hate me or think im a freak of nature or you'ld not speak to me ever again -friend-: Whatever it is, i'll always be your friend me: Well... me: It's something about me.. and about how i feel... me: Umm.. you know what.. try to guess ? <3 -friend-: i think i know me: You do ;o ? what is it then -friend-: You wish you were a girl me: ;ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo how did you know -friend-: mate you're one of my best friends, known you for years, i know you well enough to figure that out ------ So i was like whaaaaaaaa ;o he figured it out ?!?! ;o But at the same time i was so happy and it just made me realise how close he is and how much he means to me . Like thursday i had a big fight with dad about school stuff and basicly it comes down to if i fail this schoolyear, hes kicking me out at home, and as I was telling -friend- what dad was yelling at me, on msn, he immidiatly said he had a room for me and i could go to his if dad kicked me out. Which i would so love because he already knows about me and he'd support me and he would'nt be freaked out if i suddenly would like wear girly clothes And since then I have been able to tell my online friends alot of them know, and they gave me a name, Lisa, which i loooooooooove :icon_redf :icon_redf And i have another story like this with my bestest (online)(girl)friend (well i mean femalefriend, not partner), well shes more then a friend, in my eyes, shes like my big sister or something, thats how close she is to me, but I wont tell that as this topic would get too big and i'd be telling too much personal things ^.^ Anyways, yeah im so happy most of my online friends know least i can be a girl arround them In real life i hide my feelings, try to act/dress/... boy ish, just like copy what normal boys do to hide my true me, to hide lisa. Im soooooooo scared of telling parents/anyone even though the urge to get things like hormonetreatment / surgery is sooooooo big cus i just wanna get rid of the downthere asap :icon_redf and i wanna become a girl on the outside too :icon_redf but i guess the scaredness is bigger then anything. Im hoping to move to england (where all my online friends live) on my own in like august this year if not, in 2010 or something :icon_redf and become lisa on the outside too. Although thats another problem, hormones/surgery.. it all costs so much, i dont know how im gonna pay for it :'( anyways, i've probably bored you nice people too much by now, well i hope this counts as coming out because its not to people i've met in real life. -huggles- <3 Lisa xoxo (oh and i so wanna put my text in pink hehe but i wont because apparently its not very readble on everyones screen ^.^)
Hey Lisa Well done on coming out to your best friend, you should be proud! Coming out is one step at a time so dont stress about telling your parents yet. Welcome to EC, everyone here will support you every step of the way and whenever you're feeling happy, sad, excited, scared we're always here for you. Anytime you want to message. I hope your exams have gone well chick. About the hormones/surgery...you should discuss your options with a doc. I'm not sure how expensive it is where you live, but where there's a will there's a way. Here in the UK we are quite lucky in that gender surgery is carried out on the NHS for most...so people dont need to pay. Well done again on coming out to your first person. Nicxx
Hey Lisa, it's great you were able to come out to your online friends and get a great reaction like that. It's a great first step I can't really know what you're going through, but I totally empathize and I can only imagine how hard it is to not be really able to be true to who you are in real life. The next step would be talking to your parents. You know them better than we do, so it's up to see if they're ready (and if you are). Hopefully they'll be supportive (and if you're close to them and you've wanted to be a girl for a long time, they probably suspect it already!). Good luck
I am so glad that you told your online friends (it totally counts!) it is wonderful how supportive they are and that you felt comfortable telling them. You know that you've got a huge support group here on EC. No matter what is going on, we will always be there to listen and give advice. Don't worry about coming out to your parents. Just take your time and when you feel the time is right then you can tell them. Don't rush into it; take your time. I wish the best to you, Sweetie. If you ever want to talk just pm me.
